Dealing with Daddy Issues on the Twin Flame Journey, How Your Relationship With Your Father Influences Your Relationship With Men

I know with all the tarot readings and energy updates about where the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine are in their union process, it’s easy to get really ungrounded and forget about the actual very basic blocks to Twin Flame union.

So this teaching will be a fresh breeze to help you come back to planet Earth to look at some of the primary wounding that needs to be addressed on this journey. No influx of energy will magically fix everything, when you are still carrying around wounds from the past. There is no cutting corners, you have to do the healing work. It’s the ONLY shortcut to Twin Flame union.

How was your childhood?

When it comes to the Twin Flame journey, it can often get so woo-woo that we forget about the very basics of relationship psychology and the most obvious wounds that can wreak havoc in your romantic relationship. You don’t even need to go back to past lives (although valuable as well) in order to clear some massive blocks that are keeping you out of alignment with the love you want to see mirrored back to you in your physical reality.

The fact is that a lot of your relationship templating was done in the first seven years of your life. What was happening in your life at that moment became what you believed about love and relationships. What your father did and didn’t do, became what you believed around men. How your father treated your mother, became your model of reference for how men treat women and together with how your father treated you that formed your expectations towards men, when it comes to love.

A lot of this stuff is buried deep in your subconscious mind, which is not always easy to access. But get yourself a piece of paper and a pen and write down what you remember from your youngest years around your own relationship with your father. For all the guys reading this, make it your mother – because that will give you insight in your beliefs around women. Guys, you can also keep this around your dad because it will give you massive insights in your beliefs around masculinity and trusting your own inner masculine essence.

You can try and talk to your parents about your childhood or other people who could give you info on that, but please remember that their perception of what happened will be colored by their own beliefs, filters and blocks so it will not be objective information.

Even if you get outside info write it all out and then analyze what you have written down to see how what was going on then, correlates with what is going on for you now in your current day love life and your relationship with past lovers. Doing this kind of research can help you really dig up some of the core beliefs that you hold to be true around love and the opposite sex.

How this influences your current day love life

Why is that important? Because these core beliefs are creating your current day reality by default because this is what you hold to be true in your subconscious mind and therefore it manifests in your physical reality.

This is one of the main things I work on with my clients in the Soul Embodiment™ Therapy Journeys, where I bring the client deep into their own subconscious mind with the Gangsta Goddesses clearing energy. We then bring up either childhood memories and or past life memories, that give great insight in the belief that is keeping them out of Twin Flame union. This can vary from the belief ‘I am not good enough‘ or ‘I am unlovable‘ to fear of loss, not trusting the Divine, etc.

What you believe, defines how you act. So for example, recently I was working with a male Twin Flame who had everything going for him, except the core belief ‘I am not enough’ and what happens when you believe you are not enough? You start proving that you are enough, which makes you act in ways that undermine you. You get clingy, pushy and generally perceived as trying too hard. The result? The other pulls back, which only seems to confirm your belief more that you are not enough…

That’s why you need to bring these beliefs into your conscious awareness, because then you can clear them and release yourself from the manifestation of this belief in your life. The writing exercise will help you access the more superficial beliefs, to really access the deeper layered core beliefs especially those that you have been carrying with you throughout many lifetimes I recommend you work with someone. Your subconscious mind’s defense mechanism, will not easily allow you to bypass it and working with an experienced healer does allow you deeper access.

What was it like living with your dad?

So what was it like living with your dad? Was it a very nurturing experience full of love or was it unstable, not knowing how he was going to react? Maybe it was even violent and scary, with physical or even sexual abuse. Maybe he wasn’t there at all or maybe you grew up with a stepdad who then became your role model for what to expect from the masculine.

Allow yourself to go back and remember how it was.

My dad when I was young was a train wreck and actually my parents divorced by the time I was seven years old. I loved my dad and he did mellow out as he grew older. He was really a great guy and I have lots of fond memories of him, he passed away in 2009. But he was not like that in the first seven years of my life.

My dad was a high functioning alcoholic his whole life, but back then he was also very aggressive, violent and abusive especially towards my mother and my two half-sisters from his previous marriage. I have memories of dishes being thrown against the walls, lots of screaming, other women and my mother a crying mess. Me being hurried down to the neighbors, so I would be safe while all hell would break loose upstairs.

But even later as a teenager when he was nothing like that anymore, it was still difficult to connect with him. He still drank, but I never once saw him hit my stepmother or any of the stuff that was going on when I was a young child. Yet my dad seemed to always live in his own world and the only way to really connect to him was through intelligent conversation. That man loved to talk, but he did not like touch that much and it was always like there was this invisible wall he pulled up between us.

Most of us did not grow up with perfect dads and I know a lot of my readers will recognize parts if not all of the description of my dad. We all have our own stories and memories of what it was like to grow up with our mom and dads or the people that took care of us as a child. Letting go of these stories and healing the pain we felt back then and often kept re-creating over and over again in our current day life is one of the steps we need to take on this journey, with our Twin Flame.

It is not your parent’s fault

If you have been blaming your mom, your dad or other caretakers for what happened back then it’s time to shift your perspective, which does not excuse bad behavior or abuse but will give you a better understanding.

Your soul chose these people and these circumstances BECAUSE they best served what you wanted to achieve in this lifetime and above all it matched your personal belief systems that you have been carrying with you for lifetimes and lifetimes. So even though what you went through totally sucked and the people involved get to deal with the karma (energetic consequences NOT punishment) they created with their own actions, blaming them or him will get YOU nowhere.

In truth blaming them keeps you bound to the energy of that experience and by the Law of Attraction, you keep attracting people and situations that match that energy. So the only sane thing to do at some point, if you want to really release this energy from your life once and for all is to stop holding onto what has happened and to forgive everyone involved.

As long as you are not able to become neutral about what has happened and forgive the past and the people that you felt hurt by, you will be bringing this old pain into each and every relationship you go into. The odd thing about the Twin Flame connection is that it will trigger stuff you thought you were already long done and over with, wounds that you thought you had cleared once and for all will be triggered again. This is because the twin encounter, brings you to a whole new deeper layer of healing.

Imagine the healing process like tending to a garden and up til now you have trimmed a bit, shoveled a bit – you’ve probably already done some heavy weeding. When your twin comes along, whole patches of your garden have to be plowed through. Everything is cleared out at the root and then when you took out all the 3D roots and flowers, you sow the seeds for the 5D flowers and fruits that you want to reap. The Twin Flame connection takes healing to a whole new level and shows you every bad seed or bad fruit, that still needs to be removed.

Unforgiveness, blaming, hatred, resentment and victim mentality are some of the bad seeds and fruits that need to be removed from your garden, if you want the 5D stuff in your garden to grow and flourish. Otherwise it’s like you are planting seeds in a heavy contaminated soil and chances are, that the toxins in the soil will kill off the seeds before they have a chance to grow.

Do you want to know how toxic unforgiveness is? 61% of all cancer patients have forgiveness issues.

Clearing your heart armor

Even if it didn’t happen consciously, the stuff that happened in this life and in past lives has created armor around your heart. The subconscious mind’s chief priority is keeping you safe and when these things happened you made decisions about what they meant to you which built walls around your heart. Sometimes you just pulled up a fence, or put up some barbed wire, other times you build ten feet walls around your heart to prevent yourself from EVER getting hurt like this again.

All these fences, barbwire constructions and thick walls keep you from letting unconditional love in and if truth be told, letting unconditional love flow out… This is because these lower vibrational energies such as hatred, resentment, anger and unforgiveness by default keep you out of the higher vibrations of unconditional love. That’s why your Twin Flame will trigger all this heart armor so that you will become aware of it and clear it once and for all.

Of course in a Twin Flame Reunion journey I can help you clear your heart armor from this lifetime and past lives. I take you through multiple lives to clear and release stuck vibrational energies from that lifetime, that often is still bleeding through in this life – but one of the most profound things we do in a session is uncover the pattern that we are shown through the different lives or memories. This pattern brings us to the core issue you are dealing with, so that you can really clear it once and for all.

I pray this teaching serves you and that it helps you tackle some of the biggest blocks on your Twin Flame journey. Healing the relationship with your father, whether he is still alive or has passed away – will hugely improve your relationship with all men (including your own sons) but it will also improve the romantic relationship in your life and bring you closer to your Twin Flame union.