In this Soul teaching on the 7 steps to unleashing your Divine Feminine within, you will learn:
But, there is a reason why this romantic outcome is delayed or not happening.
It’s not the Universe or even you sabotaging yourself. It’s not that your twin doesn’t want you or that it’s not meant to be, between you and this person or anything like that. It’s because something different wants to happen inside of us, in order to prepare us to be able to HAVE what we so deeply (and sometimes desperately) desire with this person or someone better.
You see besides the Twin Flame journey being a modern-day initiation path to Ascension (download our free Ultimate Guide to Inner Union to find out more) it is also an initiation into sacred partnerships.
Just because, you have met who you believe to be your Twin Flame does not mean that you are in a sacred partnership together. It means that there is a potential to be in a sacred partnership with this person, but that is only possible to the extent that you come back to the sacredness inside yourself, the sacred feminine for women and for men the sacred masculine.
I can only write about my own experiences and so at this time I can only write about the sacred feminine, as that is within the scope of my current experiences. Maybe later on I will be able to write about the sacred masculine, until that time those identifying with the masculine within their connection can still get a wealth of insight from reading this teaching.
What I want to emphasize is that in order to have a sacred partnership, we ourselves have to reclaim our own sacredness and sacred being. If not, all you are trying to do is have an old 3D paradigm romantic relationship with your Divine counterpart which is not why you agreed to meet up in the physical in this lifetime. You did not come here to play house and have 2.6 kids together (that does not mean that you can’t have those things – but they are not the goal).
The goal is to bring in new relationship and love templates, open Ascension portals by becoming them and bring in higher vibrational offspring, which is only possible if you yourself become trauma-driven free (something I wrote about in a previous teaching here). We are in the process of becoming Homo Luminous (The Divine Human) as next step in our soul evolution, in order to do so we have to release the old Homo Sapiens template that we were born into.
Returning back to the garden of Eden
Too many Divine Feminines on the Twin Flame journey are so stuck in believing that they have already done their inner work and that it is their twin causing the delays and hold-ups – when in reality they themselves are the ones causing the delay by not doing the actual inner work they need to do to be able to HAVE the romantic outcome they so desire.
What I mean is that they have to step out of the old toxic love templates first, if they want their twin to follow them. They have to become this higher expression of themselves, to lift the connection into a higher expression of itself. They have to embrace their own sacredness in order to have a sacred partnership and because that is the nature of the Twin Flame connection, you have no choice but to level up.
To be CRYSTAL CLEAR; you cannot have Twin Flame union in the old 3D paradigm. For all the newbies – 3D is not our physical reality. Dimensions are NOT locations, they are states of consciousness and states of being. 5D is not up there, it is a state of consciousness and a state of being that we are meant to access and manifest in the physical plane – that is why it is called Heaven on Earth.
As the sacred feminine, we are the ones that lead our Divine Masculine back to the garden of Eden which is where we initially were in a state of Heaven on Earth. This Biblical story has been grossly misinterpreted over time and women have for centuries been blamed for the fall from grace. However, that is not what really happened. As Divine sparks of the one God being, our natural state of being is Oneness. There is nothing out there but Oneness, it’s the spiritual truth of our existence.
This was however a subconscious Oneness, or a Oneness by default – we had absolutely no say in the matter. Our whole soul’s journey through time and space has been our free will experience to choose for Oneness consciously of our own free will. Because only when we consciously choose to be ONE, can we fully and consciously experience that Oneness.
So, you see we had to be expelled from the garden of Eden in order to be able to consciously reclaim it as our birthright. We have had to go through the illusion of separation, in order to be able to consciously choose with all our heart and soul to be what we truly are at our core essence – ONE.
You can b*tch and moan about the fact that you as the Divine Feminine have to lead the way back to this state of BEING, but as I will explain further on – it wouldn’t have been possible any other way. It is literally the ONLY way back to paradise, because it was set up that way by our soul’s and not our twin’s ego. Our twin’s ego is not calling the shots here, their behavior is simply stemming from them subconsciously following the script that you as souls both agreed on prior to your embodiment in this lifetime.
They aren’t going rogue on you, they are doing their part in this shared journey and that is initiate you into the higher realms of Ascension (Yes, even when it seems they have left you and will never come back). Read the Ultimate Guide to Inner Union to better understand this.
How to unleash the Divine Feminine within
In this teaching I will lift the veil on the process of embodying our sacredness and unleashing the Divine Feminine within, just because we were born with a vajayjay does not mean that we are embodying the highest and most sacred aspect of our own femininity.
Also here, like in all my teachings on this website there is a deeper layer that wants to be seen and embodied by us as part of the true union process (that is not about a romantic outcome in 3D).
What good will it bring you to be with your twin, when they are on drugs? Or that they use your body to satisfy themselves and then just roll over to go to sleep. You don’t want to be with someone who is only concerned about eating, f*cking and sleeping, right? You don’t want to be a slave to your own need to be ‘loved‘ and thus settle for unconscious and disrespectful behavior.
If you don’t want all of that, then you have to heal the aspects in you that attract this kind of men and behavior into your life. Something that you will better understand by the end of this teaching, for now just realize this is not about blame. This is about changing your reality, in order to truly have what you so deeply desire.
This still doesn’t guarantee a romantic outcome with your twin, but it DOES bring you to a place of alignment that you weren’t in to begin with. What happens from there, only time will tell.
Step #1 Healing your relationship with men
The very first step is to start healing your relationship with men. What do you really believe deep down about men? You will see these believes reflected back to you in your relationship with men. Not only in your romantic relationships, but in your work relationship, platonic friendships, relationships with male family members and even in your encounters with male strangers in the street.
If you have difficult relationships with men, this could stem from subconscious beliefs or unresolved traumas that are being triggered in an attempt to heal them. There is a lot of subconscious fear, anger, resentment and so on that we carry towards men – that has to be released.
These fears and false beliefs can stem from current life experience, or past lives, but they can also be passed down through family lineages and more. Because they are held subconsciously, we don’t realize that they are there or coloring our perception of the opposite sex. You don’t know, what you don’t know.
For the men reading this, the same is true for your beliefs around women.
Step #2 Undoing patriarchal conditioning
Another big block to embodying our Divine Feminine essence is the patriarchal conditioning that has been rampant on the planet for the past 6,000 years. Within the patriarchal thoughtform the man is seen as superior to the woman. Because of this idea that the male is worth more than the female, we carry lifetimes of unresolved pain and false beliefs stemming from deep patriarchal conditioning.
I believe this is also why the Divine Feminine leads the way back to paradise, because it is only through reclaiming her own worth outside the worth that has been assigned to her by the masculine that she can reclaim her equality. Without this equality and awareness of her own innate worth, she would not be able to break the patriarchal beliefs that have imprisoned her to be a servant to a man’s needs.
True sacred partnerships are based on true equality, and so both the man and the woman have to completely deprogram any lingering patriarchal conditioning. The man cannot believe in masculine superiority and female inferiority, but neither can the woman.
I was dumbfounded in my own journey to find a subconscious belief from a lifetime as a man, where I had believed that ‘Women were not created equal in the eyes of God.‘ It was not a belief that I consciously believed to be true in my current life, but subconsciously I had continued to believe this despite being a woman in this lifetime. The problem is that our subconscious beliefs are much stronger than our conscious beliefs and thus overwrite them.
This is what dr. Bruce Lipton has to say about the strength of our subconscious beliefs:
“The major problem is that people are aware of their conscious beliefs and behaviors, but not of subconscious beliefs and behaviors. Most people don’t even acknowledge that their subconscious mind is at play, when the fact is that the subconscious mind is a million times more powerful than the conscious mind and that we operate 95 to 99 percent of our lives from subconscious programs.
“Your subconscious beliefs are working either for you or against you, but the truth is that you are not controlling your life, because your subconscious mind supersedes all conscious control. So when you are trying to heal from a conscious level-citing affirmations and telling yourself you’re healthy — there may be an invisible subconscious program that’s sabotaging you.”
(In the Soul Embodiment™ Therapy Journeys™ we bring these subconscious sabotages into our conscious awareness, in order to release them once and for all.)
As we have all had multiple past lives in the past 6,000 years we are all deeply influenced by the patriarchal concept. Even if that would not be true our religions are drenched in patriarchal concepts, as are our societal and cultural beliefs. Even our ancestral beliefs passed down through our DNA are influenced through the patriarchal era, that we as human kind have lived in for the past six millennia (read this teaching on how transgenerational trauma is passed on through our genes).
Step #3 Balancing your inner feminine and masculine
All this external forgiving of the masculine has to happen in order to come to the forgiveness of the inner masculine and the inner equality of the feminine and masculine within. As women we cannot claim victimhood by the masculine or patriarchy, because as souls we have also had multiple embodiments as men throughout our soul’s journey including within the patriarchal era. We have been complicit to the subjection of women, both as women and as men throughout our previous lifetimes in the patriarchal time period that we are now shifting out of.
We often uber identify with WHO we are now, our gender, our race, our sexual preference and so on. But these are variables that we mix and match for each unique incarnation to facilitate the soul plan that we have drawn up, to play out in the physical realm. On a soul level we are neither masculine nor feminine, we are both. We have no skin color and there is no sexual preference, because these are human traits.
But you have to remember we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Which means that we have to transcend the war of the sexes because this is just another manifestation of duality or illusion. If we want to manifest equality externally, we have to first create equality within the inner feminine and masculine aspects of ourselves (Jung’s anima and animus). This often means healing aspects of our inner masculine and feminine as well.
Step #4 Releasing survival mechanisms that keep you safe
Over lifetimes and lifetimes and through our current life childhood we have created a lot of heart and body armor to keep ourselves safe. These are mental and emotional patterns and often even energetic walls that we have built around parts of us that needed to be protected.
The problem with walls is that they may protect us from the pain, but that they don’t allow in the good stuff in either (like love, bliss or ecstasy). The other problem is, that walls keep things out that you want, but also imprison what you want to protect.
In the School of Soul Embodiment I teach my students why we have created these walls. They are actually not built to protect us from external pain, but from the internal pain of our primal wounding. I also teach them what needs to be done to remove these walls and address the real cause, so that they are not needed anymore.
Walls make it impossible to receive and our ability to receive is one of the main qualities of the Divine Feminine, which is why it is impossible to embody her with all our walls up. They have to come down in order to be able to embody this feminine quality.
Besides, the whole wall is a fallacy in itself, it doesn’t protect us – it imprisons us.
Step #5 Releasing inner judgement
Another important step and this can also start happening earlier in the process is releasing all our inner judgement in regards to our own femininity. Again these fears and false beliefs can stem from all the different previous timelines and lineages.
Think of judgments to being a woman, motherhood, being a wife, a daughter and of course your sexuality. Throughout times there have been so many ideas projected on women that they have had to live up to no matter if they were comfortable or in accordance to their natural inclination. As women we have sometimes internalized these ideas and still carry them with us, despite them being outdated or even false to begin with.
In my own journey I uncovered many of such false beliefs including one stemming from a previous lifetime with my twin where I had been incapable to give him children (an heir) and he had committed suicide in that life, leaving me to believe that I wasn’t women enough for him as I had failed at both the things that ‘made me’ a woman in that era – to be a wife and a mother. Little did I know back then that my twin was homosexual and so I couldn’t have ever been what he needed me to be, because I was a woman (I wrote about this previous lifetime here).
This grabs back to the Bruce Lipton quote, no matter how much you consciously want to be someone’s wife and mother of their children, if you subconsciously belief that you are inadequate to be so (in this case through past life wounding) this subconscious belief will overwrite your conscious desire.
Step #6 Embracing your sacred sexuality
Also our fears and false beliefs around sexuality have to be cleansed, women’s sexuality have been regulated by man for the past 6 millennia as well. You could have been taught that your sexual desire’s are bad in this lifetime or previous lifetimes. You could be afraid that your sensuality or sexual appetite will get you branded a whore.
Alternatively, you may use sex still as a way to survive, or as a way to feel desired, sexy or loved. Because women were stripped of their power, they used sex as a way to manipulate, gain power, survive, and influence men. These are all subconscious records that we may still be playing out in our current day life, because of unresolved subconscious wounding from our past.
In today’s world there should not be any sexual taboos we say and therefore unloving and disrespectful sexual behavior has become normalized, fired on by the porn industry. Spitting on a woman’s yoni to lubricate her for example is degrading, there are much more loving and respectful ways to get her wet, gentlemen.
To all the woman feeling sexually liberated because they enjoy rough sex, listen up. To want to be hurt, feel pain, be choked or be taken by force is not being sexually free. It’s playing out your subconscious trauma between the sheets. Why would you want to bring pain and subservience inside a space that is meant to be loving and safe?
As women we have been so conditioned to cater to the sexual desires of men, that we have lost touch with our own sexuality, our own desires and our own pleasure. Which is not a hall pass to go on a f*cking spree, but instead an invitation to really be honest with yourself about your own sexuality not as a tool to satisfy or bind a man to you – but as a source of your own pleasure.
Even today 30% to 50% of the women don’t orgasm at all depending on the various studies available and a whopping 80% of women do not orgasm only from penetrative sex. The woman that do reach a climax, often haven’t actually experienced the depth of a real orgasm because of their own conditioned inhibitions that prevent them from truly unleashing themselves sexually. The climaxes they reach are the tame versions, that are deemed appropriate for a woman being a ‘good girl’. Even in bed women are encouraged to play small, instead of unleashing their true inner fire…
Step #7 Embodying the Divine Feminine
Cleansing all these aspects of our femininity brings us to a place where we can actually embrace our Divine Feminine essence, but even that may prove to be something that still needs clearing and cleansing in itself.
This was certainly true for me.
In a recent healing session I saw that I had deep down rejected my own femininity because I didn’t feel safe being a woman. This was connected to a past life as a mixed race woman where I was sold into slavery and used for sex. Before sexuality had been a natural aspect of my being, but through that experience in that lifetime it was something I had deeply disowned inside myself.
Looking back, both my husbands had mirrored this back to me. In both my marriages my second child to each husband had been a daughter. In both pregnancies, my husbands had demanded I would have an abortion. I refused in both cases and brought two beautiful daughters into the world, both men at that time had no idea what gender the baby would be when they asked for an abortion. They just didn’t want this second child.
For years I had tried to understand this seemingly weird coincidence and I had even asked my own father when he was still alive if he somehow had not wanted me to be born. My father had reacted in shock and told me that I had been very much wanted by him – I am the first born from his second marriage.
So, that wasn’t it either. I wasn’t subconsciously playing out, my own rejection by my father or the masculine. It could have potentially been an in utero wound, of feeling unwanted or rejected – but I was very much wanted by both my parents.
Now during this healing session 13 years after my youngest daughter had been born, I understood why both my husbands had reacted in this way because it was a mirror of my own rejection of my femininity. This realization led to a deeper layer of forgiveness towards these men.
I also pray that the healing that followed will work through to my daughters, my younger daughter died shortly after birth and her father was devastated. He sat besides her dead body for three days, refusing to eat or drink. My oldest daughter is a beautiful young woman, who has until now deeply disowned her own femininity (which is one of the reason she chose me as a mother because I had the same wounding).
As part of the healing session I allowed back in this disowned aspect of myself and allowed myself to feel safe again in my femininity, as my current circumstances no longer are the immense painful experiences that had made me decide to disown my femininity to begin with. Doing so brought this initial sense of relieve, followed by a feeling of liberation which broke the shackles by which this past life expression of my soul had been enslaved by.
Exiting the patriarchal man/woman templating
This particular healing session also shows how complex our wounding is, as things aren’t as clear cut as they appear to be in this teaching. Often it’s a lot of aspects mixed into one. For example in this session we started feeling into the heart and root chakra and I found this immense grief in my heart chakra. When I zoomed in I saw that I was grieving my loss of innocence, which tied into the sexual abuse I experienced as a toddler but also brought me back to this past life as a sex slave where I had lost my innocence.
This was about releasing heart armor, body armor to protect myself, not feeling safe as a woman, survival mechanisms and much more. It all culminated into refusing to allow myself to be violated as a woman ever again. To violate means to treat (something sacred) with irreverence or disrespect.
Which means to also not accept this behavior from my twin towards me or other women. I want to be clear here because women often reach this point out of indignation, hurt or anger but that is not real, they are not exiting the patriarchal man/woman template when they do so because they are still coming from their pain, anger and often subconscious blame and victimhood towards the masculine.
Instead to truly break the patriarchal man/woman template, that doesn’t serve the highest good of men either – we have to step into our own sacredness and sovereignty and from there allowing yourself to be violated is no longer an option because you have reclaimed your own innate worth. As I explained earlier on, men can’t be the one to break this template for us because it would keep us small and dependent on them to liberate us from our subversion. This can’t be done from without and has to be done from within, which not only liberates us from playing small but liberates our men as well to be able to step up into their full potential.
For men it is often very enticing to stay stuck in this old relationship template even when it doesn’t satisfy their soul, because it tends to their superficial desires. As women, our deepest initiation in strength and standing for our worth is exiting this template with absolute no guarantee at all that our Divine counterparts will follow suit and knowing that there are many other women that are willing to continue in the current template with him. But as you may now understand even more deeply, true union is not possible within that template because true equality is not possible within the patriarchal man/woman template.
So, we honestly have no choice but to exit it and trust that when we do our Divine counterparts will follow suit. As one of my ancestors recently said to me, we cannot miss our destinies. What is ours, is ours for all eternity.
Becoming the Yin polarity within your connection
Grabbing back one more time to dr. Bruce Lipton’s quote earlier on about the strength of the subconscious, I think it’s important to note that this rejection of my own femininity was not obvious to me or others. I dress feminine, you will never see me outside without lipstick on, I act feminine most of the time. It wasn’t something that manifested itself on a superficial or even visible level, which is much more true for my daughter who hates girly stuff for example.
This was way more deep down for me and had to do with my ability to fully open up to receive, to surrender, to be open – I am talking about those deep YIN qualities that truly characterize the feminine.
Yin: “The feminine principle of receptivity; letting someone else make the first move; gathering information and taking in cues; the art of conscious allowing.”
The Oracle’s Message: “This is a time of calculated receptivity as you gracefully await what is coming to you, ready to accept it when it appears. Yin does not involve frozen dreams or even resting, but rather consciously allowing things to flow to you, poised to receive the bounty that will be made available to you. It implies sensitivity as you alertly study the actions of others and contemplate how they will affect you and yours. Remember, you must make space for miracles to appear. Be the ‘shaped,’ not the ‘shaper,’ and you will see how quickly your dreams manifest.”
Relationship Message: “Let others take the lead role right now. Your power lies in small gestures, soft awareness and conscious surrender. By yielding the reins, you will find yourself effortlessly moving closer to what you truly desire. Permit others to tell you who they are and who they can be to you by allowing their actions to speak about them. You will be pleasantly surprised.”
Yin, from the Wisdom Of The Oracle, by Colette Baron-Reid
Truly embodying the Divine Feminine, means also truly becoming the Yin polarity within our connection. Something that is only possible when we feel safe and trust the Universe and our soul, if not we will keep trying to ‘make it happen’ (Yang) which doesn’t work.
I pray this teaching serves you and helps you understand how important it is to embrace and embody our own Divine aspect within our connection. To truly be able to enter a sacred relationship or the sacred marriage (Hieros Gamos), we have to retrieve our own innocence and sacredness within. We have to become the Divine Feminine or the Divine Masculine, if we want our Divine counterpart to step up as well. We can’t expect our twin to stop unconscious behavior, if we ourselves aren’t willing to look at and change the unconscious behavior inside of our own lives.