In this Soul teaching on healing the mother wound, you will learn:
- Why women have traditionally been blamed for things going wrong in the past
- What causes mother wounds
- How to heal the mother wound
- Why being loved is your birth right
- And more…
The garden of Eden as metaphor for the human birth
If you read the story of the garden of Eden you realize it is a spiritual metaphor for the human birth and of course the birth of humanity, as Adam and later Eve are the first humans created in the likeness of God. But this is not a literal story, it is truly a spiritual metaphor for a much deeper message – that you comprehend when you pay attention.
In Genesis 5: 1-2 it says
‘This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.’
Within the garden of Eden everything is in Divine order and Adam and Eve are given everything they want and need. There is ample food, drink, beauty, nature, animals. It’s warm and they need no clothes, nor do they know shame. There is only one restriction in this Heaven on Earth, and that is to not eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil as God told them that eating from it, they would surely die.
Hint: Adam was not a man but an androgynous being created in the likeness of God.
Although it sounds as if this is a description of a physical place, what is actually being described is a state of consciousness and a state of being.
The serpent tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, which she did and gave Adam to eat as well and suddenly they saw their own nakedness and felt shame (which they had not known before. When God finds out what they have done, he curses them but also makes them clothes of skin (aka a human body) before he casts them out of the Garden of Eden (Earth’s paradise).
Eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil is to know duality. As it is clearly stated in Genesis, God only created good and although mankind was in Paradise and in union with God – this was an unconscious union or a default state, there wasn’t any other flavor out there except union and good.
In order to exercise our free will, we were given the opportunity to experience duality and therefore choose to be One with God of our own free will.
As soon as Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden fruit, they had a change in consciousness (separation) which changed their perception of reality – leading them to experience shame, cold, rejection, abandonment and the wrath of God. Until that moment they had only known unconditional love, good, warmth, care, protection, nurturing, and so on…
The death that eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil would bring was the karmic cycles of death and rebirth that humanity would go through before choosing to become One with God again, but now of their own free will. This time it would be a consciously chosen union, when before it was a default or unconscious choice.
As souls we were meant to go through the process of death and rebirth as we travelled through time and space to discover our own divinity and return to who we truly are as God/Goddess incarnated.
Eating the forbidden fruit shifted us into separation consciousness, the objective of our soul’s journey throughout our different lifetimes is to return to oneness and unity consciousness, which allows us back into the Heaven on Earth experience when we realize that all the rest was illusion. Our souls are immortal beings, that cannot be born or die – only our human form can return back to dust, our avatar in the Divine game of life.
The womb and our nine months of gestation in it, is much like the garden of Eden. All our needs are met, we know no shame, we wear no clothes, we know no cold, hunger or thirst. We are even one with our creator, our mother with which the relationship initially is so symbiotic that we don’t know where the mother begins or where the child ends. In utero we even experience our mother’s feelings as our own, which can lead to developing trauma in the womb (read an article here about in utero trauma).
When we are born into the world we are expelled into the cold, we need to wear clothes, have our diapers changed, be fed, burped, kept warm, safe and alive. As soon as we are out of the womb we experience greater degrees of separation that intensify once the umbilical cord is cut, when we are eventually put in our own beds and then slowly left alone for increasing longer periods of time.
As humans being born into this world, we experience being cast out of Paradise each time we reincarnate in the physical through the human birthing process – maybe to help us remember this original state that we seek to find again.
In a way Adam and Eve, are the primeval Twin Flame – who were the first to be split in two (I explain this further on in the article).
‘Adam is symbolism for consciousness. In both genders he represents the masculine aspect. Eve is his feminine counterpart, psyche or soul. You can see for yourself that “the Fall from Eden” is a metaphor for humankind’s psyche taking its consciousness into the identification with its physical body. It was no fall or accident, but a necessary evolutionary step for helping each one of us to become aware that in truth you are an individualized Divine spark of God, Each one whole and complete with our own masculine consciousness and feminine soul aspect … the Image of God.’ Source: Werdsmith.com
Why we blame the woman
Whether it’s just or unjust there is a tendency to blame the woman and exonerate the men when things go wrong. When a man cheats, the anger is often directed towards the other woman. If a child has been abused or neglected, the mother is held accountable to a much greater extent than the father is.
Even ‘Adam’ blamed ‘Eve’ for his sin, which Pope Francis declared in 2015 was wrong when Adam, who in order to justify himself from eating the apple answered to God: “She gave it to me.” Basically shirking his own responsibility for eating the forbidden fruit, by blaming his wife.
Now this is not a refresher course in Abrahamic religions*, the real issue that I want to point out here is PATRIARCHAL conditioning.
*Abrahamic religions are Judaism, Christianity, Islam, the Baha’i Faith, Yezidi, Druze, Samaritan and Rastafari.
Since the past say 6,000 years we have lived within a patriarchal society which is based in the idea that women are inferior/unequal to men. Much of this belief stems from the Abrahamic religion’s creation story, in which Eve was said to be created from the rib of the man.
However, this has since been proven to be an incorrect translation and in fact the correct translation is ‘side’. Eve was made of one side of Adam, and not a smaller portion of him. This fits right into the Twin Flame concept, but even more so points back to our original androgynous state – being both male and female as it is also stated in Genesis 5:1-2.
Pope Francis also says in regards to this:
‘The image of the rib does not in any way express inferiority or subordination, but on the contrary, that man and woman are of the same substance and are complementary.‘ Source: QZ.com
It’s this centralization of the man through patriarchal conditioning that has made woman the scapegoat to offload male responsibility on and which has made women complicit in perpetuating violence against women in order to please or appease men.
If you think this is an exaggeration, please be aware of the fact that female genital mutilation is largely done by women to women and men themselves are far removed from the act. The most frequently cited reasons for carrying out FGM are social acceptance, religion, misconceptions about hygiene, a means of preserving a girl or woman’s virginity, making the woman “marriageable” and enhancing male sexual pleasure. Source: BBC
But also other forms of violence towards women are perpetuated by women, think for example of women in cultures of arranged marriages which is still a common practice in many countries in Asia, Africa and the Middle East.
Abuse of women by intimate male partners and partner’s family members are the most endemic form of violence against women. Studies investigating in-laws’ involvement in domestic abuse in Pakistan are silent on this issue, however, within India, there is an evidence of women’s violence against women in a variety of contexts. These include female infanticide, or the selective abortion of female fetuses, where the mother and other female relatives of the girl child are most likely to be the perpetrators. Indian women are seen as auspicious and enjoy an elevated status within the household when they are mothers of sons, but are often treated with contempt when they give birth to daughters (Sudha & Irudaya Rajan, 1999). Source: Researchgate.net
The sad truth is that it is often the mothers (our own, our partner’s and ourselves) that are complicit and perpetuate the inequality of and the violence against woman, because like all of us they have been conditioned to believe in male superiority, which was a false belief to begin with. On a soul level we are both feminine and masculine and throughout our soul’s journey we have incarnated as both men and women throughout lifetimes and lifetimes. As women, we have been men abusing women and as men we have been women being abused by men. We have all experienced live from both perspectives.
It would be a mistake to believe that this is only a problem that currently still exists in third world countries, or other cultures and other religions. We are struggling with patriarchal conditioning in the West as well, which can be seen in the gender wage gap, the degradation of femininity, the hyper sexualization of the feminine and the (sexual) violence towards women and children in the West.
Here are some shocking stats:
- Sexual abuse is the fastest growing form of reported child abuse. Most child sexual abuse takes the form of incest committed by fathers and stepfathers. Source: law.yale.edu
- Technology, in particular the internet, has enabled sex trafficking and sexual exploitation to become the fastest growing criminal enterprise in the world. Source: EqualityNow
- ‘Global Report on Trafficking in Persons 2016’ indicates that women constitute 51% of trafficked persons, men 21%, girls 20%, and boys 8%. Source: Forbes
- Rape is the 5th world fastest growing crime. Source: Halscott Megaro
Yet, even when women are victimized by men, we tend to blame the victim and shield the man from the consequences of their actions, this happens on all levels. The family level that denies the sexual abuse being committed in the house. The rape victim getting blamed for what she wears. The top athletes whose careers mustn’t be ruined and so on. Which is nothing else but this patriarchal conditioning, kicking in. Often in an attempt to exonerate the men from having to bare the responsibilities of their actions, making the women carry the burden instead.
The Mother wound
This is not to say that men and especially boys don’t get abused, because they do, nor that woman cannot be the abuser because they certainly can. It is merely to point out how women are and have been complicit to the perpetuation of male dominancy, simply because of their own subconscious conditioning that runs back all the way back to the ‘beginning of time’ and the start of humanity with the creation of Adam and Eve.
Which brings us to the Mother wound, because in the midst of this all – the ONE person that you expect to be on your side and to protect you from harm is your mother and in many cases she is incapable to do so. Sometimes because of her own denial and often because she has no control over the actions of the men in her life whether it is her boyfriend, husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle or other male family member.
Yet, because of our patriarchal conditioning we subconsciously hold her accountable anyway because we have been conditioned to exonerate men of their (bad) behavior.
The two examples in my own life were with my mother and my step-mother.
As a toddler I was sexually abused by my father in the absence of my mother. My mother was a nurse, who worked night shifts because it allowed her to combine work and family life in the best way. As an adult I understand that being at work, she had no way of knowing what was happening in her absence, as a child I was angry at her for not protecting me from my father. My mother was a battered woman and was hardly capable of protecting herself from the abuse she experienced from my father, let alone protect me. As a child I held that against her subconsciously, simply because I needed her protection and she wasn’t there.
As a two year old, I had no concept of the legitimacy of her absence – all I knew was that I needed her and she wasn’t there.
My step-mother as I explained in a previous teaching was so busy running interference between my father and I in an attempt to protect me from sexual abuse by him – that she failed to protect me against her own father who sexually abused me in the back of the car when I was 13,5 within 2 hours after meeting him. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that as the child that I was then, I blamed her and still subconsciously did – for bringing her father and his grabby hands into my life.
She and I were already not a match made in Heaven, then on top of that her father touched me inappropriately and when I told her what had happened she accused me of lying. My father hardly in a position to condemn hers with his own incest track record, told me that every old goat likes a fresh green leaf now and then. They both refused to ban this man entry from the house to protect me and the three French girls (all extremely young age 5 to 9 at that time) that we hosted each summer.
My step-mother although she tried – failed to love me, protect me and keep me safe and this was true for my mother as well who had not only failed to protect me when it happened, but unwittingly sent me back to my abuser all by myself when I was 13,5. I didn’t consciously remember what had happened as a two year old at that time, but my subconscious mind remembered and held it against my mother for not keeping me safe yet again.
And this is the Mother wound, the discrepancy between how we are mothered in real life held against the Divine Mother template of how we innately know a mother should be.
As one of the healers I work with pointed out, my tendency to attract men (including my twin) with ‘Mommy issues’ was because they were a reflection of my own deeply disowned mother issues.
The Mother Archetype
But the Mother wound itself is much more complex, it doesn’t only concern our mother, step-mothers and mother figures in this lifetime. It also concerns:
- Our grandmothers and mother lineage
- Who we were as a mother in previous lifetimes
- Our own motherhood in this lifetime
- Our mothers-in-law
- Mother Gaia, the mother of life
It’s about the mother archetype and what we expect from the mother energy. The tasks we as a child seek our mother to perform are to:
- Love us
- Protect us and keep us safe
- Nurture us
- Nourish us
- Teach us
- Allow us to be and become all that we can be
When our mothers fail at any of these tasks (even when through no fault of her own) it diminishes our trust and sense of safety within the world. On top of that our relationship with our mother and how our mother treats herself, is the biggest influential factor on our own self love and what we believe we deserve or are worthy of.
Mother wounds are caused when:
- We have had abusive mothers.
- Mothers with narcissistic traits or a narcissistic personality and any other mental health illness that has a negative impact on her ability to perform the above tasks as a mother.
- Mothers who fail to protect us or keep us safe (even through no fault of their own).
- When our mothers still needed mothering themselves, and we became our mother’s mother which didn’t allow us to just be a child.
- When there’s simply been a misunderstanding where we did not feel loved by our mothers or step-mothers as a child, sometimes this is due to for example conflicting love languages.
These Mother wounds often, but not always stay hidden until we have children of our own and this opens them up again. Because you see the world through the eyes of a mother and you realize that you as a mother would have made different choices if you had been in your mother’s or step-mother’s (if applicable) shoes.
Interestingly healing the Mother wounds is healing your capacity to feel and receive higher levels of love, worthiness and abundance.
The reason I included the whole section on patriarchy is because that is what we need to take into account when we want to understand where the women before us are coming from and as with any familial, generational, societal, cultural or religious conditioning, it has seeped through from generation upon generation.
At the root of it all lies the degradation of the Divine feminine that we all carry as patriarchal imprinting and that needs to be healed in order to become true equals to the Divine Masculine.
Mother wounds offer us the opportunity to heal the degradation of the Divine Feminine within ourselves, which allows us to be both worthy and equal to the Divine Masculine. In other words our Mother wounds, mirror us our own broken Divine Feminine template whether we are a man or a woman presently.
Restoring our trust in our mother, helps us restore our trust in the Divine mother and the Divine Feminine as our mothers are the Earthly representation of these principles.
Forgiving the Mother of life
And it turns our ‘Adam’ is not the only one shirking his responsibilities…..
We all are, let me explain why.
Not ONLY do we need to forgive all internal and external mothers in our life, across all timelines – we need to forgive the Mother of life for everything we are subconsciously holding against her for the many painful experiences we have encountered throughout our soul’s journey in the physical.
As children of the Divine we have incarnated many, many times into the physical and have felt unloved, unprotected, unnurtured, unnourished, unsafe and unable to flourish and reach our full potential in the arms of our Divine Mother, mother Gaia.
However, what we need to realize is that these experiences where a product of our own choices, our own unresolved karma (trauma and pain), our own subconscious fears and false beliefs that attracted the people, situations and experiences we needed to heal them.
In reality our Divine Mother has continuously held us, loved us, supported us, nurtured, nourished and protected us, while allowing us to become all that we can be. We just were not able to see this, because we were too caught up in the drama of the moment (the playing out of the wound that created our life-circumstances to begin with).
We created each and every one of our experiences whether consciously or subconsciously and we need to take full responsibility for our own creation. When we do this, we realize that it has all been an illusion. Our Divine Mother has always loved us, protected us, kept us safe (remember even death is an ego illusion – we are immortal souls), nurtured us, nourished us and above all allowed us to reach our full potential.
If we didn’t have food or money, it was so because we chose that experience on a conscious or more often subconscious level. If we were in a loveless home or marriage, we chose to be because that were the exact circumstances we needed to heal our deepest pain, fears or subconscious beliefs. Our Divine Mother loves us so much, that she allowed us the space to play out all our illusions in the physical so that we could see them for what they really are – untrue and that was what eating the forbidden fruit was meant to do.
It was meant to have us gain knowledge of good and evil and understand the truth of who we are. This wouldn’t have been possible without this journey that we have been on. Had we stayed in Paradise, unconsciously one with the Divine (God) we would have never truly been able to grasp who we really are. We would have remained spiritual infants, instead of adults. We would have never been able to know the truth, that we uncovered by experiencing duality.
Returning to Paradise
When we can forgive the Divine Mother and see that she has never let us down, but instead carried us in her arms and heart throughout each and every lifetime we can return home….
The idea that even our own mother (the Mother of life) could not love us, is the deepest wound possible and makes us feel not only unlovable but also unworthy and undeserving as humans.
It’s that unhealed wound that keeps us from being able to enter Heaven on Earth (Paradise) consciousness again. The deep knowing that we are lovable, we are worthy and we are deserving is what allow us to re-enter the garden of Eden, which is of course not a physical place but a Divine consciousness and a state of being.
You have heard before that the Twin Flame journey is about learning to love yourself, yet there can be NO true self-love until we have addressed these deep subconscious wounds that had us believe we were innately unlovable at our core, unworthy and undeserving of our Creator’s love God/Goddess.
In a recent session with a healer I was brought to the gates of Paradise.
We went inside my heart chakra and there was nothing there but spaciousness and this big gate which lead to Paradise, Heaven on Earth. The gate was opened slightly and there was light showing through the opening. I could feel that my soul was on the other side of the gate and because the gate was open, I was allowed inside. There was nothing keeping me from walking inside, but yet I felt nervous to do so.
At the same time the energy behind the gate was pure love, which made going inside even more challenging. Even though I could simply walk through, something inside of me was holding me back. I had to give myself permission to enter into this space of pure love, which brought up the old pattern of believing I didn’t deserve to be loved from my inner child (I have written about this here).
As we worked on integrating my innate knowledge that I did deserve to be loved into all layers including the inner child aspect of me that had created this false belief, the gate opened more and Quan Yin and an other male Ascended Master came to assist me. I was told that step by step I would be able to allow myself to enter through the gate.
The healer had also pulled out this oracle card for me:
BLESSING OF THE KHATA BESTOWED The Wild Quan Yin Oracle by Alana Fairchild
“In your heart a desire for union grows, an impulse to move deeper into love’s embrace. As you open your heart, I pour forth my healing balm and my blessing. It is never too late for love. It is never too late for joy. It is never too late for connection. As my blessings vests in your heart, a path will open up for you, leading you into love’s expansive landscape. You too shall be as enchanted in love as I am, cherished and adored, surrender in love. Love’s blessing and presence finds you now. You are worthy of such blessing and shall be safe in the joy of its embrace.
In the Tibetan tradition, the white silk scarf, known as the khata, is a positive symbol that augurs new relationships with blessings for good fortune It is a symbol of devotion, and is also a visual reminder of divine blessing granted for a successful transition into a new chapter of your life in whatever way that manifests, including through a new or deepened relationship.
This is your khata from the Divine Mother, Kuan Yin. It is her acknowledgment of good intention and goodwill, of divine presence in new relationships, and is an auspicious gift for new beginnings. These blessings are very special and this oracle is a vessel carrying that blessing to you now. To receive the blessing of the khata as fully as possible, intend to open your heart and allow love to have its way.
This may mean that some relationships, unable to be healed at this time for whatever reason, need to be released. This is so you can grow and open your heart more freely to those able to love you the way you wish to be loved, to those able to receive your love the way you are able to give.
Remain open to love’s will, whether you understand it or not, which you can do by centering yourself in your heart. Let your feelings guide you and trust in whatever is happening now in relationships or the new beginnings in your life.
You are not required to do anything except receive the Divine Mother’s love.”
To be loved is our birthright
As souls to be loved is our birthright and any doubt around our worthiness or deservedness to be loved is a false human belief, because we are love in our essence. This is something that we may all conceptually grasp, but we of course need to be able to live it.
To me the Twin Flame journey in which I have now reached the final stage of completion, is about peeling back all the layers of our subconscious fears and false beliefs that have us believing we are our physical body (our human form) or that we are limited by the limitations of being human.
It’s about becoming one with our soul and realizing that our soul is our ONLY true identity, again not just as a mental concept but fully embodied, which is not possible until you have peeled back all these layers of subconscious fears and false beliefs.
To merely claim you are your soul, changes absolutely nothing unless you release all the places where you were identifying with the false self (your human self, the ego, your personality). Because by releasing these false identifications, you can also release the false belief that you are unlovable, don’t deserve to be loved, or are not worthy of being loved because of your human experience.
You are not your human experience, you are your soul who has gone through the human experience not because you did something wrong and this is your punishment – but because this allowed you to fully experience the TRUTH of who you are and come back to union with ALL that is, consciously and of your own free will.
I will be leaving the Twin Flame stratosphere
For the past five years I have been serving the Twin Flame collective and I have come to see that it is time for me to move on. This will most likely be my last teaching for Twin Flames.
What I have come to realize is that you do not have to be a Twin Flame or have to be on the Twin Flame journey to go through the inner union process and become one with your soul. It doesn’t matter who you are with, or whether you are single – the path of inner union is available to everyone.
At the same time being part of the Twin Flame community for the past five years, I have also seen that most Twin Flames are simply not willing to do the work. Everyone wants union but most do nothing but try to chase it down (read here why I believe that 99% of Twin Flames will never be in union). After five years of trying to get through to the collective, I have come to see that I am wasting my energy tugging on a dead horse trying to make it move. Before I could clearly see how many so-called Twin Flame teachers were not teaching the full truth of this journey, now I have come to see that they are merely catering to the demands of the Twin Flame collective who want to remain in blissful delusion – dreaming of someday when they will be together with their twin instead of actually doing what they need to do to make that happen (which I wrote about in my previous teaching here).
I still believe the Twin Flame journey to be valid and everything that I teach still stands, yet at the same time I have chosen to open my work up to everyone who wants to heal their life through their intimate relationships. You do not have to be with your Twin Flame, to benefit from the inner work I teach – you can be in what you believe to be a karmic or soulmate relationship it doesn’t matter.
And do you know why it doesn’t matter?
Because these are all human (3D) labels, on a soul level it doesn’t matter what soul connection you have. There is not one soul more special than the other, each soul is special and unique in it’s own way because all souls are special. On a soul level there isn’t more love to give to one soul than the other, because there is ONLY everlasting unconditional love.
Which is why we will over the coming months be rebranding into Soul Partnerships. where the focus will be to align to and create partnerships based on unconditional love, sovereignty, harmony, equality and unity.
I will be teaching how to create Heaven on Earth from the Inside Out.
My own Twin Flame journey has laid the groundwork for this new step in helping a much bigger group of men and women that may not necessarily identify with the Twin Flame label move into these new age, new Earth, new paradigm, 5th dimensional love relationships. As Twin Flames we were called to bring in these new relationship templates, but they are not meant to be EXCLUSIVELY for Twin Flames. This is the future for everyone on planet Earth, these higher dimensional, higher vibrational unions that once freed from the patriarchal conditioning, are based in true equality of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine aspect.
As we enter the Aquarian age, we are called to lift all aspects of our lives to a higher plane (the 5th dimension) and this is true for everybody – not just those who feel they have met their Twin Flame. Yes, as Twin Flames, we are the front-runners of this Ascension into a higher dimension but in the end everyone is meant to walk this path.
In short I will continue to do the work I do and continue to teach what I teach, but I will not be directing my work at an exclusive Twin Flame audience in the way I have been doing now. I trust that those on the Twin Flame journey, willing to do the inner work will continue to find me as they have now and at the same time that by shifting away from the Twin Flame label that a lot more people ready to do the inner work but who do not resonate with the Twin Flame concept will join our Ascension party!
I am excited to work with those people who are willing to do the inner work whether they believe they have met their Twin Flame or not. My clients work with all of my own personal healers as they have access to them through the School of Soul Embodiment, one of the things every healer says to me after working with a couple of my clients is that they are the most willing and motivated clients they have ever worked with. My clients are an absolute joy to work with because they are so motivated to find their subconscious wounds and release them.
I believe all our intimate relationships offer immense opportunity for healing and growth and because of that it doesn’t matter who you are with at this time. I myself was able to come into complete inner union without being together or even in any real significant 3D contact with my Twin Flame. I was basically single and for the large part celibate the past almost seven years since I met my twin and started this journey. My twin and I do speak to each other from time to time and we are on reasonable terms, but my inner union has little to do with him in the end. It was a process that took place inside of me, whether we were in contact or together or not.
Now, I know you deeply desire to be together with your Twin Flame and you very well may be but the ONLY way to come into true Twin Flame union, is by first coming into union with your own soul. You can only have what you have attained within and sadly within the Twin Flame collective, it’s this Higher union that most are missing out on and basically not even interested in. They are too busy trying to somehow energetically or otherwise force union on their twin, when we are ONE with our soul we don’t need to force or convince anyone. Everything that is ours by Divine right will simply be magnetized to us – effortlessly.
It’s this process of becoming ONE (inner union) that takes a lot of inner work to get there.
I pray this teaching serves you and has helped you get a better grasp of the Twin Flame journey. If you resonate with my work, stay tuned for the new website and branding because I will continue to create deep spiritual content to assist you in your journey and Ascension process. If you are deeply attached to the Twin Flame label, or hell bent on ‘manifesting’ your union you probably didn’t resonate with my work to begin with. If our paths separate here I wish you all the best and for those who are ready to embark on the next level of this journey with me – welcome aboard I am super excited to have you with me.
We will be exploring super juicy subjects from here on out such as Divine partnerships, Soul connections, Sacred Sexuality, New Earth children, Higher levels of Ascension, Creating Heaven On Earth (living in 5D) and much much more.
With my deepest love,
