In this Soul teaching on Karmic Debt, karmic ties, and karma with the land you will learn:
When I first heard the term ‘Karmic Debt’ being used in my own healing journey, I was eager to find out what it meant and although the term gives a list of search engine results – it was a lot of regurgitation of the concept of Karmic Debt within numerology.
Look no further than the psychic industry and all the hype sites on numerology, tarot, angel numbers, and so on if you want an old paradigm perspective that is either a half-truth or not true at all. I found a lot of nonsense and a handful of half-truths rooted in an old paradigm view of karma (the dualistic view of seeing karma as punishment and reward) that barely scratched the surface of what karmic debt is really about.
In the end, reading these explanations really didn’t make me any the wiser nor did it help me get a better understanding of what it means to have a karmic debt. It was through my own healing process of healing my karmic debt, that I have come to understand the true meaning of this concept. In this Soul teaching, I will share in-depth the complexity of what it means to have a karmic debt, as well as karmic ties and karma with the land.
I read explanations like: ‘Karmic debt is the patterns in your life that are being repeated and they are typically bad patterns or unresolved issues in your life…’ but this is true for all karma. Another site wrote: ‘Karmic debt describes something that occurred in a past life that you’re now making amends for in this lifetime’, yet again this is true for all past life karma and so definitions like this don’t do justice to the real-life complexity of dealing with a karmic debt in your life. It really goes so much deeper than these superficial definitions that not only apply to what we understand to be past life karma but also apply to unresolved past life trauma which is carried from lifetime to lifetime as well within our karmic templates that are held in our causal body until it is resolved (read the teaching on the truth about karma – linked below, to understand why).
If you are not familiar with the new paradigm perspective on karma, I recommend you read this teaching on the truth about karma first (click the link to open the teaching in a new browser tab).
It almost feels like you’ve been cursed
When you are subconsciously carrying a karmic debt it can almost feel as if you have been cursed or that someone has put a spell on you. I do not believe in curses and spells in the sense that someone with bad intentions has the power to limit me or alter my reality without my permission. I am not a victim of fate, I am the powerful creator of my own reality and everything and everyone in it. But, I remember when going through this period in my life that was freakishly long, it felt like a curse or spell even though I don’t believe in black magic. It wasn’t that I believed that I was cursed or under a spell, but that I understood why people would interpret their circumstances as such because there seemed to be no other explanation. No matter, how many healing sessions I did it seemed as if I couldn’t to get to the root of it.
When I shared this feeling with one of my friends who comes from a culture that deeply believes in outside influences, and in particular the evil eye he urged me to have someone look into it. So, I had someone we both know on the island look into it and told her upfront that I don’t believe in outside influences but that I couldn’t seem to get to the root of the issue. She does believe in outside influences she said but agreed to take a look. Three days later she contacts me to discuss what she saw (and it wasn’t a curse or a spell).
She saw me in a previous life as a ship merchant or pirate involved in human trafficking to the Caribbean and told me that I was carrying a karmic debt from that lifetime. She said she couldn’t help me as she was told it was something I should do on my own and suggested throwing ho’oponopono at it. Although I believe that ho’oponopono can be very powerful I don’t think it is THE cure-all for everything, so I called another healer that I have worked with for the past 20+ years and asked her to help me look into this karmic debt.
We are going to take a slight detour from here to be able to afterward weave multiple storylines together. I moved into my current apartment in July 2020 and by December 2020 my finances started to wobble. By 2021 I started having difficulties with my landlord (I have written about this before here in the teaching on how to heal your money drama & karma – little did I know back then how instrumental he would turn out to be in exactly this on a much deeper level than I expected).
At that time I just thought I was facing an up-leveling problem so all my healing sessions were focused on finding the root cause of my money issues, but there didn’t really seem to be a healing session that created the breakthrough I was looking to create. I remember saying to healers that each and every session that I had done would normally create huge breakthroughs on their own, they were that potent but now the energy wouldn’t budge I kept being all over the place financially.
But what was the most interesting was that this landlord and I go way back, like all the way back to Lemuria and when all was said and done I had uncovered six lifetimes (including our current one) in which we incarnated together and he was never nice to me in any of them. Aside from the Twin Soul with whom I have had over a dozen incarnations, I don’t know of anyone I have incarnated this often with, except maybe my mother – we have incarnated together many times as well. She and my landlord may actually come in second place together.
My now landlord killed me in Lemuria, then made me lose confidence in myself when he was my jealous sister here in a previous life in Ibiza, he was a corrupt official who aided my family in having me committed to a mental asylum to get their hands on my money, he raped me as his family’s servant treating me like a slave, and in the previous life before the current, we were two soldiers in the trenches during the First World War – he didn’t hurt me then but blamed me for his death when the only reason I survived was a sheer lucky intuitive move that kept me safe while he got hit and died.
Then of all the places I could have ended up living, I got this contract even though the apartment had shortly been taken off the market and then came back because I had unfinished business with this man and he with me. My mother has always said that the people you live with or rent from are karmic connections. How true that has proved to be. This man and I had deep karmic ties.
You can’t just heal your way out of a karmic debt
This is somewhat of a paradox because, in the end, you have to heal your karmic debt. But a karmic debt is not like normal past life karma where you see your mistake, misinterpretation, or misunderstanding – forgive yourself and the energy starts flowing again. No, it is much more complex than that.
What ended up happening was that a slew of previous lifetimes, some of which I had already ‘seen’ started to come up to be worked through again. In the end, basically, every life in the past 300 years was revealed to me and this whole timeline emerged that seemed to be deeply connected. It took me over a year, a small army of healers, a large number of sessions, and a large amount of cash which I did not always have at that time because of my finances being so wobbly.
One healer even at one point said “You can’t simply heal your way out of this one. You have to allow yourself to go through the experience. You have to live it.” This turned out to be so true and culminated in one big initiation that I had to live out.
When I did the healing session on my karmic debt with the other healer, we saw a previous lifetime in which I was a ship merchant or pirate depending on how you look at it. We were on our way back from the Caribbean near the port of Ibiza, but because I valued money more in that lifetime than anything else I had skimped on stocking up on provision a practice that many sea captains followed at that time. Scurvy broke out under the crew members and too many men died, which left us with not enough men to sail the ship.
We were left drifting at sea with not enough food, not enough fresh water (you can’t drink seawater), and not enough crew to operate the ship. My greediness and my desire to maximize profits had sent us all to our early graves. Ships back then could hold over 200 men and more than 70 canons and guns to protect themselves. My crew wasn’t that big, but it was big enough and I was responsible for their death. At least two of my current life children were on that ship with me, it’s very common to pay back a life taken by giving life as a parent in a later lifetime – I often see this come up as well with clients in Soul Embodiment™ Therapy sessions.
Those who had survived of the crew and of course I myself died at sea a little off the shore (but without sight of land) from Ibiza, Spain – the island where I currently live. I had a big chest of gold on board, but all the money in the world couldn’t save us from this horrific death at sea.
Yet, even seeing this lifetime that was underlying all the other lifetimes from the 300 year timeline did not turn things around financially.
Instead, I was deeply initiated in restoring my relationship with money back to love.
I knew from my very first moneyblock lifetime that I saw in 2012, that I believed that being rich meant losing everything including myself because my family had put me in a mental asylum to safeguard the family fortune that they had been afraid I would otherwise squander on my in their eyes crazy visionary ideas. Over the years I have come to see the story of this lifetime more nuanced, but initially, all I remembered was that they did it to get their hands on my money.
Seeing this ship life that was even further back, I could see now that this false belief had already been created in the ship lifetime where I lost everything including myself at sea. This had been a deeply traumatic experience with money, because the money was of course useless and couldn’t save us from being driftless on the ocean and dying of hunger and thirst.
There were a plethora of false beliefs tied into this one life which included not trusting myself with money, not wanting to become ruthless because of money, blaming money for my greediness, and so on. I didn’t ‘want’ money (subconsciously) because it wasn’t safe to have money – it had literally cost me my head over and over again throughout many lifetimes including a historically famous life as Marie Antoinette where I had been sent to the guillotine on trumped up charges.
This is something that I have seen happen over and over again in client sessions, guilt seeks punishment. When we f*ck up in the way I had in that lifetime at sea, we can end up subconsciously punishing ourselves for lifetimes and lifetimes to come in order to try to make amends.
As part of my initiation despite having had savings initially, I was moved quite quickly into a situation where all my savings were gone. I had managed to pay the three months’ rent that had been due, from the previous month, the current month, and the upcoming month all in the month of March when I was hit with two separate electricity bills totaling a sloppy €2900 I didn’t have. The landlord breathing down my neck threatening to start an eviction process, which was nothing but a scare tactic that he quickly abandoned when I got my own lawyers involved. To top it off my April revenue was the worst it has ever been in years. I went from having thousands in the bank to thousands in debt in a matter of weeks.
Here’s where things get interesting. I had planned a retreat in May that had been postponed for the past two years due to the pandemic. With five spots left to sell, I would have easily had the money I needed for the retreat (remember all my savings had been wiped out before) but the problem was that despite having people who really wanted to come and who had the money to do so, all five of them had legitimate reasons why they couldn’t that ranged from the care for children that couldn’t be outsourced for various different reasons to just accepting a new job and not being able to apply for leave so soon.
After not being able to sell the spots and the worst revenue month in a very long time, there was only one option left and that was to borrow money from the bank. I went in and asked for a €10K loan, which I could easily pay back over the course of 12 months – this is not a large amount of money in my world. I applied for the loan but instead, both my business and personal accounts were frozen and my credit cards were canceled. Here’s where it gets insane, there was no possibility to appeal – the fraud department had flagged one of my accounts even though the bank branch staff had no idea why. I was literally told that the bank didn’t want me as their client.
I was in shock, I had never heard of anything like this happening before and when I asked for more clarification they told me that this happens in the case of for example money laundering, drug dealers, terrorists, mafia, and so on. It made no sense, I explained to them that the fraud department got it wrong – I run a spiritual business I had nothing to do with these kinds of criminal activities. This was all one big mistake.
It was a week after this incident that my healer and I got access to the ship life at sea.
I was living in my current timeline how I was seen in this karmic debt lifetime – a persona non grata (person not welcome) because of my in the previous life dubious business dealings.
In my current life however, non of what they were saying made sense. In the end because I refused to let it go, the staff admitted that it could have been because of someone transferring money to me or me paying someone that was listed as fraudulent – but I had to find a new bank anyway.
This all happened more or less two weeks before the retreat. Suddenly, all the doors seemed to be slammed shut in my face and I had no idea how to finance the retreat. Even the slight extra spending room I had thanks to my personal and business credit card was gone. I couldn’t cancel the retreat because we had five clients flying in from the United States and of course, I didn’t have the money to refund all eight clients the retreat fees.
So, I had no other option, but to make it happen no matter what which made me very creative. I started by asking the healers to front me their hotel costs, I also literally asked every friend I have to borrow money. I asked clients to pay anything they owed ahead. I dumped the lunch catering company and instead had my 18-year-old son who wants to become a chef make vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, and normal lunches at our home, and the clients came to our house every day to enjoy lunch together.
The day before the retreat started I was still €3.000 short to pay the resort, but then a friend who I had contacted earlier in the week messaged me ‘How much do you need?’ and then gave me the full amount in cash a hour later.
Although, I never went into a panic, the TMJ I occasionally suffer from had never been so bad. On the first retreat day, I could hardly open my mouth wide enough to eat. My jaw was so clenched from the stress I was feeling that every bite made loud popping and bone scraping sounds. Apparently, stress exacerbates TMJ, but by the next day it had already all cleared out and my jaw was fine.
In hindsight, I was super proud of myself for powering through no matter the outer circumstances and making it happen, even though I had had to move Heaven and Earth to make ends meet. Although in reality, the actions I took weren’t forceful at all. Insteas I deepened the trust in myself and the Universe, surrendered, and took aligned action. Looking back, I realized that many others would have run away in fear or not be willing to put themselves in debt. But that was exactly what this initiation was about, in the karmic debt life I had valued money over people. In my current life, I naturally chose to value people over money and ended up with a more than €10K debt, which was fine because I knew I could easily earn it back and more once I had worked through whatever wanted to be healed here.
Karma with the land
We need to make another slight detour to bring it all together and this part of the story is about karma with the land. As you may have read on the blog, I followed my soul call to move to Ibiza even though in this lifetime I had never been here before. It was a giant leap of faith because back then in 2017 listening to my soul, my intuition, and my heart was relatively new to me. It was not a skill that I was well versed in.
It turned out though that I had deep karma with this land as well, from the lifetime at sea that had sent so many men to their graves in the waters surrounding Ibiza and from a lifetime where my now landlord was my sister. This karma with the land was intrinsically connected to my karmic debt because this was where the karmic debt was created.
The island of Ibiza is said to be first inhabited by the Phonecians in 650BC. In a more primitive Goddess worshipping culture, I was chosen for the honor of being handfasted with the goddess of the island now called Tanit but in Phoenician times was called Astarte (Ishtar). She’s the protector goddess of Ibiza and there was once a temple dedicated to her on the same site where the cathedral now stands in Dalt Vila (the old town of Ibiza city).
I was chosen because of my ability to hold the energy and to serve the goddess, however, my sister had wanted to be chosen herself, and although she had seemed to be nothing but kind and supportive she had made me doubt myself to the extent that I failed the task that I was chosen for. I had failed the goddess and the island I was meant to serve and that I had been married to through the handfasting ritual in a similar way that later nuns were made brides of Christ.
Knowing what I know now, it is not surprising at all that I was led to live here because I had deeply unfinished business here that both revolved around failure. I had let my crew down and sent them to their grave and I had let my goddess and tribe down when I failed the task my community had chosen me to be the one to accomplish which was considered a highly bestowed honor in that time period.
Interestingly enough, that is exactly how I felt now, I felt like a complete failure! I had dragged my family all the way out here and now couldn’t afford to keep a roof over our heads – I felt I had failed them deeply if I couldn’t turn things around.
Being back in Ibiza now, lifetimes and lifetimes later triggered these past life memories where I still held the stuck energy of failure.
This is not only true for me, but for everyone who carries around stuck emotions from previous lifetimes. We are forced to live them, except we can actually improve things drastically when we find the root cause of these stuck emotions in healing sessions. In the case of a Karmic Debt, it’s not that the healing sessions don’t work – it’s that you have to bring up all the connected lifetimes in order to bring up the original wound.
This is something I do for my clients in the Soul Embodiment™ Therapy sessions, but I don’t know any healers that work in the same way even if they work in the Akashic Records as well. This meant that in my own healing journey, I had to really do it step by step – session by session when with my own method it can be done in one single session which is why my clients often say that one session with me is the equivalent of multiple sessions with other healers or that they have never gone as deep as they have gone with me.
The Universe always provides
However, during this deeply challenging time, there was also so much support from the Universe, my soul, and guidance from above. I have always had to pay for my healing sessions but during this period I was offered many healing sessions for free, not all of them but quite a few including the woman who initially saw the karmic debt life but felt she couldn’t help me – she gifted that knowledge to me.
My lawyers who told my landlord to behave knew I was having difficulties making ends meet, so they never billed me. They told me my landlord was a big bully but had no legal grounds to work with. I had paid an insane high deposit entering the house and I was still well within that amount despite not being able to pay the rent multiple times. But even without the deposit, he couldn’t simply evict us.
Situations such as these create this big inner push for change, that wouldn’t be there without them. In another free session I had, the therapist suggested that I was tapping into my soul truth but that there was an even deeper layer of soul truth that I could still tap into. Because of the extreme situation, I had lived through, I went to sleep early that night and with non-negotiable determination, I set the intention to tap into this deeper layer of soul truth that I hadn’t even realized that I was not tapping into yet.
The next day I wrote a post about something I felt deeply about and when I reached the end a spontaneous business offer came through which I added in. The post deeply resonated with many, got a lot of likes and shares online and brought in clients. One of my super clients (someone that has bought everything I have ever offered) reached out to tell me how she could feel the difference in energy in what I had written and even said she could feel my new energetic branding through what I shared.
Long story short in a little more than one month, I was able to pay off everyone that I had borrowed money from for the retreat. I only have one business debt left before I am debt free again, which is how I like to run my personal and business finances – debt free.
What this shows though is that loss is but an illusion. Just before the retreat began, it felt like all was lost both businesswise as well as personally. Seemingly from one day to the next, I was inundated in debt both personally as well as professionally. Imagine getting €2900 in electricity bills and the landlord refusing to challenge the invoice with the electricity company because he wants me out. I have a 5-year contract and he has just rented the apartment next door (which he owns as well) for €400 a month more than the previous neighbors paid, if he can get me out he can hike the rent here as well. To him, these invoices were heaven-sent, there was absolutely no need to challenge them as far as he was concerned.
However, it was this feeling of failing my family and myself – and of being a failure in general that helped me bring into my conscious awareness my unresolved pain in relation to this island and the past life failures I had here as well as help me heal my relationship with money even deeper in order to restore it back to love (instead of fear).
This only goes to show that people can be total d*ckheads in your life, but that their actions still serve your highest good. Without the landlord playing his role as perfectly as he has, those stuck emotions wouldn’t have been triggered. Imagine, that he was the wonderful and caring man that I would have liked him to be. That wouldn’t have brought about the perfect circumstances to trigger this deep old pain that I was still carrying and that was still even though I now live a very privileged life in comparison to when I was on welfare or in comparison to many others – was still keeping me financially small because of my deeply traumatic experience of owning a fortune and dying at sea anyway because no amount of money in the world could have saved me under those circumstances.
More importantly than what this will mean in my life in regards to future finances, will I now make even more and grow to the 7 or maybe even 8 figures? I believe that the true gift in all this was restoring my relationship with money back to love. Because, how can money truly support you in your life if you have unresolved trauma around it? How can you truly enjoy your wealth in whatever amounts present if you’re afraid of money, or in my case afraid of being rich? I have shared this before but this is the first lifetime, in at least the last five lifetimes if not more that I am not poor. I have been dirt poor in my previous lives.
I am also the first female on my mother’s side and potentially on my father’s side as well that has outearned all the women and the men in her family. I have been able to do so, through my healing journey. I had zero money when I started. I had nothing. I had to ask the healer if I could pay later and I was always allowed one session ahead of what I owed. If I wanted a next session, I had to pay for the old one first and that is how I improved my life step-by-step from single mother on welfare to now owner of a multi-six figure business.
But don’t make the mistake of thinking that this teaching is about money, because no matter how inspirational my personal story – a karmic debt can show up in all shapes and forms around any soul or life theme. We can create our karmic debt around literally anything, so keep that in mind when exploring yours.
I pray that sharing my personal experience with you will help you deal with karmic debt in your life.