Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part II - T ...

Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part II - T ...

There is great interest these days in balancing our inner masculine and feminine parts, to for example attract the right partner or unlock higher levels of spiritual consciousness. The missing piece however in most teachings is undoing our patriarchal conditioning and...

Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part I - Th ...

Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part I - Th ...

There is great interest these days in balancing our inner masculine and feminine parts, to for example attract the right partner or unlock higher levels of spiritual consciousness. The missing piece however in most teachings is undoing our patriarchal conditioning and...

Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part II - T ...

Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part II - T ...

There is great interest these days in balancing our inner masculine and feminine parts, to for example attract the right partner or unlock higher levels of spiritual consciousness. The missing piece however in most teachings is undoing our patriarchal conditioning and...

Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part I - Th ...

Healing the Patriarchy Series: Part I - Th ...

There is great interest these days in balancing our inner masculine and feminine parts, to for example attract the right partner or unlock higher levels of spiritual consciousness. The missing piece however in most teachings is undoing our patriarchal conditioning and...

Soul Path Series: Part I - Our Split From  ...

Soul Path Series: Part I - Our Split From ...

The Soul Path series is an eight-article series by Sabriyé Dubrie of Soul Teachings on the origin of our Soul path 'birth' and our evolution into the (human) incarnation experience. The teachings shared are gleaned from my own healing journey on a Soul path level and...

Soul Path Series: Part II - Our Galactic L ...

Soul Path Series: Part II - Our Galactic L ...

The Soul Path series is an eight-article series by Sabriyé Dubrie of Soul Teachings on the origin of our Soul path ‘birth’ and our evolution into the (human) incarnation experience. The teachings shared are gleaned from my own healing journey on a Soul path level and...

Soul Path Series: Part III - Our Lifetimes ...

Soul Path Series: Part III - Our Lifetimes ...

The Soul Path series is an eight-article series by Sabriyé Dubrie of Soul Teachings on the origin of our Soul path ‘birth’ and our evolution into the (human) incarnation experience. The teachings shared are gleaned from my own healing journey on a Soul path level and...

Soul Path Series: Part IV - Masculine &#03 ...

Soul Path Series: Part IV - Masculine  ...

The Soul Path series is an eight-article series by Sabriyé Dubrie of Soul Teachings on the origin of our Soul path ‘birth’ and our evolution into the (human) incarnation experience. The teachings shared are gleaned from my own healing journey on a Soul path level and...

How To Pick The Right Healer Or Therapist For Yourself On Your Ascension Journey

by Sabriyé Dubrie

Spiritual author, Multidimensional Healer, Founder of Soul Embodiment® Therapy & the School of Soul Embodiment.

Ultimate Guide to Soul Embodiment

In this Soul teaching on how to pick the right healer or therapist for yourself you will learn:

  • The importance of picking the right healer or therapist
  • What can go wrong when you pick the ‘wrong’ person to work with
  • What matters when searching for a healer or therapist
  • What you think may matter, but actually doesn’t matter that much at all
  • And more….

I started working with healers in my early 20s and it has been a 25+ year journey. I started working with healers way before I started working as a healer myself and even when I developed my own healing gifts, I continued to work with other healers because I don’t believe in self-healing in the sense that we can simply sit down and clear everything ourselves. When it comes down to it, of course, we are always tapping into our self-healing powers even when working with other healers, but because you don’t know what you don’t know and because our deepest pain is equally deeply hidden – I have found it incredibly helpful to work with other healers who have helped me see not only things that were in my blindspot but also things I had deeply disowned.

I am where I am in my healing and Ascension journey because of the many different healers and healing modalities I have worked with, not because I did it all by myself or even through my own healing modality. I believe if you truly want to heal, you have to really get in there, and here’s the thing all of the wounding that truly matters is in your subconscious. Yes, you can get into your subconscious by yourself to a certain extent but not in a way that is profound or deep because in order to access the subconscious you have to let go of control. You cannot be the guide and the one being guided at the same time because they are two different states that are mutually exclusive. You need someone to guide you and that person not only needs to be someone you feel safe with, but that person needs to know what they are doing.

I have worked with some of the best of the best but also with charlatans and hugely unprofessional people. In this Soul teaching, I will share with you how to find the best people to work with in your healing journey and Ascension process and how to avoid getting scammed or end up working with people who don’t deliver or worse do more harm, which definitely can happen.

If you are a healer or a therapist yourself, this teaching is also for you, not only as a consumer but as a service provider as the tips in this Soul teaching can help you in attracting more clients and understanding what may be counterproductive to filling your practice. It’s one thing to be extremely good at what you do, which is true for most healers and therapists, it’s something else to sell it. This I see can be very challenging for most healers and therapists, this teaching doesn’t go into the sales and marketing aspect but it does highlight what can turn potential clients off that you may have not thought about.

The importance of picking the right person

Obviously, the most important reason for picking the right person is getting the results you need. I say the results you need, rather than the results that you want because true healing doesn’t always go as planned on an ego level. You may not always get what you want, but it will always give you what you need on a soul level provided that it is true healing. There are many so-called healing modalities that heavily rely on wishful or fantasy thinking that do not get results, not the ones you desire and sadly not even the ones you need.

Also, the healer’s or therapist’s personality plays a big role as well as their own level of healing. A healer or a therapist can only take you as far as they have gone in their own healing process and sadly many healers as well as therapists believe they don’t need to heal. Sometimes this is out of ignorance and other times out of arrogance. I have found that especially people with the gift of sight, tend to overestimate their own need for healing. Perhaps it is because they feel that their ability to see is so extraordinary, that they see themselves as more spiritually evolved than others and therefore infallible, once one sees themselves in such a way it’s hard to admit that there’s more healing to do.

There are many different factors to consider in picking the right person to work with, while factors you think might be important potentially are not. For this reason, I have gathered everything you need to know and what the Divine may want to add to this Soul teaching to help you move forward on your healing and Ascension journey and in being able to choose the right people to support you.

Of course, every experience ‘wrong’ or right, good or ‘bad’ carry within them an opportunity for deeper healing but not everything is pre-destined or a matter of predetermined fate, we can make poor or uninformed choices, and correcting those can impact the outcomes we create in our lives. But it’s not just a question of good or bad, wrong or right. In our modern culture of spirituality and healing, the biggest issue is that many healing modalities or tools don’t work at all or insufficiently and that many people are extremely busy thinking they are being ‘healed’ or ‘healing themselves’ when in reality little to nothing is happening. Knowing is not the same as embodying and in an age where all the information we need is at our fingertips, it’s deceptively easy to think because you know something that it’s either healed or embodied when it’s not. Mental masturbation is rampant in our day and age and this is no less true within the spiritual community…

What can go wrong

Most will go right of course when working with a healer or a therapist (we’re not here to fearmonger), but this isn’t always a given and things can go wrong. The following list is to help you catch red flags and nip things in the bud if necessary so that you can move on as soon as possible instead of staying stuck in dynamics that do not serve you and your journey. This is what could potentially go wrong:

You’re a bad match

The most decisive factor in having a successful outcome in regular therapy is having a good rapport with your therapist, it takes therapeutic outcomes from very low to good or exceptionally high all depending on how well you vibe with the person you’re working with. This same is true all across the board, no matter the healing modality because in order to be able to be vulnerable with a healer or a therapist and open up to share your deepest pain, secrets, and struggles there needs to be trust.

When you are a bad match with someone it will greatly affect your ability to be vulnerable and trust them. This is true when the healer or therapist intimidates or scares you, but it is also true when they rub you the wrong way. What can also happen is that the healer or therapist is a lightweight and doesn’t have the experience or the expertise to hold space for you, which is another aspect of trust as it may feel unsafe to fully explore your depths with them. If you find yourself in the above situations or any other situation where you don’t feel comfortable working with that person, give yourself permission to cut your losses and move on.

Sometimes, the healing lies in asserting boundaries and standing up for ourselves, and experiences such as this provide the ideal circumstances to learn to assert ourselves and choose what is best for us instead of what is more comfortable for the other (people pleasing). A bad match doesn’t have to be negative at all as long as we can admit to ourselves that it’s not working and take the actions we need to protect ourselves, instead of forcing ourselves to see things through because of our subconscious wounding.

Even if you have paid upfront and you won’t get a refund, choosing yourself and your own well-being is how you (re)gain the trust of yourself and your inner child rather than sacrificing yourself and how you feel for a certain amount of money. If a parent did this you would consider it a betrayal and when you do it to yourself, the inner child will feel betrayed too. Because why would you make money more important than your own feelings or sense of safety? These are all things to consider when you find yourself in a dynamic with a healer or therapist that isn’t working for you.

You don’t get results

This is a tricky one because healing with an agenda doesn’t work. So, it’s not perse about not getting the results you want but about not getting results period. There are a lot of healing modalities and therapies out there that don’t work, some might not work for you but there are many cases where they simply don’t work at all. Or that they may relax you and make you feel better, but hey so does a good massage, a hot bath, or an orgasm. Feeling good is not the criteria for healing, you can feel good all you want and still have all your subconscious wounding intact. In fact, there are many people running from one feel-good experience to the next but that doesn’t mean they are truly healing on a deeper level.

Even those people you see that are getting the results you deeply desire aren’t necessarily getting them from their level of healing. Yes, healing can positively impact your finances for example or your intimate relationships but not everyone who is making a lot of money or who is in an intimate relationship is healed. There are other factors at play that can create the same results without the healing and the question is are they really the same results? Outer results are often the worst way to measure healing because healing is actually about the inner results. These inner results may be reflected back to us in our outer reality, but results in our outer reality do not have to be a reflection of our healing. They may actually be a reflection of our wounding or even the ideal circumstances to heal our inner wounding.

So when I am talking about not getting results, I mean not getting any inner evolution. This is true for many healing modalities or so-called healing modalities such as consulting psychics or having curses lifted, but even psychic surgery another buzzword or all the different codes people promise to download into your energy field, as well as basically all the quick fixes, feel good healing and most done for you healing.

Healing done right makes you grow as a person, it changes you for the better at the deepest level and liberates you from the shackles that bind you to your unresolved pain. I would even go as far as to say that if you are not facing the depths of your deepest emotions, you’re not healing at the level you could. All of the above amounts to many people believing that they are very busy ‘healing’ themselves, when in reality they are just busy doing everything but healing because they use modalities that don’t and often even can’t get results because they aren’t actually a thing.

If you are thinking I am being too skeptical or harsh, let me remind you that every industry has its quick fixes and things that do not work or even cause more harm such as for example ‘light’ foods in the diet industry which are known to not work and in some cases even exacerbate health issue. Not to mention all the various diet pills that either don’t work or work only to make things worse such as Ozempic (which is an injection) that is currently in the spotlight because it does induce weight loss but requires lifelong use or otherwise most of the weight will be regained quite rapidly within a year after stopping this specific medication.

The world is full of examples of things being sold that do not work, only work a little, or make things worse and the healing industry is no exception. It is up to our own discernment to navigate through it all and find what works for us.

You have a bad or traumatic experience

Both unprofessionalism and wounding in the healer or therapist can lead to bad or even traumatic experiences. What is bad for one person can even be traumatizing for the other. I worked with a healer a while ago, who unfriended me on Facebook mid-package due to her own unresolved wounding with women and in particular her mother. Unfriending a client mid-package is a clear message that you’re done with them without actually telling them you’re done with them.

We had one incident prior in which she contacted me to say that she had trademarked several types of wounding and that only her students were allowed to use those trademarked terms and as I was not one of her students I wasn’t allowed to use them. I personally do not understand the need to trademark wounding in order to make it unavailable to other healers – so to me, this was a red flag. Plus these were everyday terms within the healing industry, which meant there were potentially thousands of healers and therapists working with these terms that she didn’t know of and therefore couldn’t stop from using them. It was only the healers and therapists she knew that she could play this power game with threatening to take legal action if they didn’t comply even when the legal basis she had was super thin.

I didn’t agree with her but didn’t make a big deal out of it either, I made the edits she asked for on my website and in a Facebook post. But it did of course instantly damage my relationship with her. I immediately took my distance after that because I didn’t want to subconsciously pick up anything from her marketing and then be accused of stealing her work. This was a big theme in her life accusing others of stealing her work and she had also been taken to court by another healer who had accused her of stealing their work, which illustrates how we bring our wounding into all areas of our life including our businesses.

Shortly after this incident, I was unfriended on Facebook while we still had sessions to finish.

I found this behavior incredibly unprofessional, for me personally, it wasn’t that much of an issue emotionally aside from the fact that I was shocked at her behavior but I know that for many clients who are at other places within their healing journey, this could potentially be devastating. Her team tried to make it seem less bad, by saying they were always creating space to make new connections on Facebook but that of course only made things worse. I had invested around €7.000+ working with this healer up until then and so basically what they were saying was that they were creating space for new leads that would add to their bottom line revenue.

I am not easily traumatized but I have had my fair share of bad experiences with both healers and therapists and one thing that really irks me is unprofessionalism and overt wounding that is often the cause of such unprofessionalism. In my Twin Flame days, I had one ‘healer’ who was completely paranoid and accused me of only booking a session with her to be able to write a bad review in order to take down the competition. Instead of actually getting a session, I got dumped on until I ended the conversation.

This has made me more discerning about who I work with and who I take recommendations from. If I do follow a recommendation I look at the person recommending them and where they are in their healing journey. If there are no recommendations I look at reviews and testimonials from other clients to get an idea of the level of healing available through this person and the modality they use.

You wasted your time and money

One of the reasons I can say that many healing modalities don’t go deep enough or don’t work at all is because I have been open-minded enough to try many of them. I have done the psychic surgery, the spell lifting, the done-for-you energy healings, the chakra clearings, and so on. I have also had sessions with absolute charlatans that were a complete waste of time. One in particular that I can remember was a woman who channeled Ascended Master Kuthumi in a fake Indian accent and then started to warn me of the dangers of hypnotherapy because I had told her that I was undergoing hypnotherapy at that time.

To top it off, she relaid a past life she claimed she saw between me and the current life wife of a man that I had fallen in love with prior to his marriage, hoping to fuel any hatred or jealousy I carried toward this woman with a dramatic tale of how she had plunged a knife in me out of nowhere. Asserting that not only had she taken ‘my’ man in this lifetime, but she had also killed me in a previous lifetime. That was $250 down the drain because obviously, I saw through what she was doing because there was no seed in me to trigger irrational emotions toward the wife, the girl had done nothing wrong by marrying him. Plus because of my own substantial knowledge of past life work, I knew that there is always a deeper reason for being victimized in a previous lifetime and so even if this highly dramatized scenario was true, the channeler’s interpretation of it was completely off.

By telling me what she thought I wanted to hear, trying to create a bond around my ‘victimhood’, and blaming the girl for my pain, she had hoped to make me a repeat client. Many vulnerable women are reeled in this way by channelers or psychics who not only allow their clients to stay in unhealthy emotional states but actively fuel them. The so-called ‘healer’ becoming the only confidant and the only person that ‘gets’ them because their loved ones don’t perpetuate their emotional fantasies in this way. These cycles often continue until the person starts to become strong enough to accept the truth and move on but this can take years. Often by then, they will have paid a small fortune for the continued ‘support’ that offered no healing whatsoever.

In another instance, I spent over $5K working with an energy healer on a week-to-week basis doing energy work for over a year, with at the end nothing to show for it except the lesson learned that you need to be discerning of healing modalities that are based on wishful thinking because as much as you want them to work, they don’t because they are based in fantasy and not reality. What complicates things is that the ‘healers’ are often so convinced of their healing gifts (especially when they have the gift of sight) that they genuinely believe they are helping their clients heal.

It’s not always direct intentional deceit, it’s more that people who can see into other realms don’t understand that seeing is not the same as healing. It also greatly depends on where one gets their information from, the psychic or astral plane are not reliable sources to access the soul truth, and even those that claim to for example access a client’s Akashic Records or other more reliable sources of information often only do so to a certain superficial extent or use the gift of sight to do so. However, the ability to see clearly with the gift of sight largely depends on one’s own healing and the level to which they have come out of the various ego illusions in one’s own life. In many cases, the gift of sight makes people lazy to truly do their inner work because they think that their gift already makes them more spiritually evolved than others.

You are further traumatized

As much as we want to trust the people we work with not all of them are trustworthy. One of the male therapists I worked with had a tendency to cross sexual boundaries with his clients/patients. He crossed boundaries with me within our session with my consent. This wasn’t problematic for me because I was at a place in my healing journey where this wasn’t triggering or burdensome and it fit into the therapy I was already doing. I was actually doing tantra therapy with another male facilitator at the same time and basically, I got the results that I didn’t get in the tantra session with the male therapist in a completely different healing modality which is why I didn’t have an issue with it for myself.

The sexual aspect was definitely controversial but it was used to benefit me and my therapeutic goals instead of his gratification. There were no false expectations/promises and no emotional entanglement to complicate things which is why I was willing to cross this line that in any other situation I wouldn’t have been willing to cross and it was only crossed to a certain extent. This was the exact same extent as the tantric sessions, which had also been very limited because I chose a homosexual facilitator, in that case, to feel more at ease given my sexual abuse background. In other words, I was already on a path to healing my sexuality and so at this point in my healing journey this experience was beneficial to me. It didn’t hurt me. It opened my eyes to a new level of pleasure that I had not known existed prior to this experience.

However, shortly after, the therapist invited a then-friend of mine to do free sessions with him and proceeded to make their relationship romantical/sexual while she was young enough to be his daughter and even his granddaughter. The girl in question had terrible daddy issues, but of course, because the sessions were being offered for free he wasn’t technically violating the client-therapist relationship. He used the free session and the fact that he was a psychotherapist to be able to hit on her which didn’t sit right with me.

I later found out from one of my own clients who had worked with him that although he had not crossed the line physically the therapist had shown interest in having a more intimate relationship with her outside of their therapeutic sessions, which is a no-go. I severed ties with him after that because this is a dealbreaker for me, I am very protective of my clients.

This is one way that unresolved wounding can bleed through in healing or therapy sessions and in this case you could say that the therapist himself was in desperate need of therapy because it’s completely unethical to romanticize or sexualize your relationship with clients or patients. In fact, it’s illegal, and one day someone is going to file charges because this is potentially traumatizing to someone, especially if they have come to heal sexual trauma or have unresolved sexual trauma or any other wounding that will trigger their unresolved pain. It’s a cliché in a way, but it still happens which is why you may actually want to choose female healers and therapists if you are at a stage in your healing process where an experience like this could still be very triggering. Research shows that it is predominately male perpetrators that abuse female patients/clients, although other combinations as well as female-to-female abuse exists as well. Source: Psychology Today

But actually, a far more common scenario is controlling or narcissistic behavior by healers and therapists. In this way, the healer or therapists can retrigger wounding of earlier experiences with authoritative control and narcissism and clients can stay deeply enslaved in these dynamics for years. Healers and therapists may (subconsciously) behave in these ways to secure their monthly income and it is not uncommon for them to try and stop you from working with other healers and therapists. Often claiming that other healers and therapists are ‘undoing’ their work or in other ways negatively impacting you the client/patient. They can go as far as working their way into your entire family, getting as many family members as possible under their control and it can take a long time to extract yourself from such dynamics, especially when you are being convinced that it’s all being done to your benefit.

Healers and therapists are facilitators of healing, they are not meant to be put on pedestals or have any say over your life. They can make suggestions that you can experiment with but you are never meant to be lived by your healer or therapist. I haven’t seen many examples of this in allopathic therapies although I am sure it also happens there, I have seen this happen a lot with facilitators of more alternative healing modalities. I am personally allergic to this kind of dynamic and I will walk out on any healer or therapist that tries to control, limit me or make me dependent on them, but I have worked with a lot of clients that are or have been stuck in such dynamics to help them undo the damage that was done.

What does matter

Before we dive into what does matter I want to explore one of the most important things I have learned about healing. There is not one healing modality that fixes everything, not even my own. When working on our own healing and Ascension we need multiple healers and healing modalities to truly get to the heart of things and there is no one healer or therapist, nor a single modality that is the panacea for all. I have always encouraged my clients to work with other healers because there is no one-size fits all solution. So make sure to diversify your healing efforts, so that you can truly use your healing journey as an Ascension tool rather than get stuck in the limitations of one healing modality or working with only one healer or therapist.

Are they healed and balanced themselves?

As you have read in all of the above, the single most important thing when working with a healer is whether they are balanced and relatively healed themselves. They don’t need to be fully healed, but they do need to be healed enough and preferably further along in their personal healing journey in order to assist you in yours. Any bad or traumatic experiences you will have will be a direct result of the healer or therapist’s own unresolved wounding or inexperience (lack of healing), which is why their healing matters so much.

Plus a healer or a therapist can only take you as far as they have gone in their own healing journey, no matter how superior the modality that they are working with. This is why that should be your main concern when searching for a new healer or therapist. They don’t have to be perfect, but they can’t have oozing wounds either, which means that you will have to do some digging beyond their marketing to get a better idea of what you’re getting yourself into.

What are they posting on social media?

The first check that could give you clues is their social media, what are they posting? This may not be conclusive, but it will weed out the most obvious ones. I am always shocked at people who call themselves healers or therapists and the level of hurt they post on their own timelines. I cannot tell you how often I have read deeply disturbing posts by people that should not be working professionally at all. Posts of heartache, betrayal, and sometimes downright stupidity are open for everyone to read, I am not talking about vulnerable shares but rants that shouldn’t be shared publicly. Photos of ex-lovers they’re outing, tags, and profiles of women they blame taking their man and dm feuds being put on public display.

Check out who you want to work with on social media, what’s on their personal timeline and if possible try and follow them so that you can see what they are saying in response to others on other people’s timelines. This will give you a good idea of what to expect and if you see a lot of conflict and drama showing up in their lives despite high-end branding it may indicate that there’s some subconscious wounding getting triggered. I followed this one influencer for a while who charges $35K a healing session, but she was continuously airing her dirty laundry in a non-constructive way, was constantly posting about a copy-cat and all these things that were not working in her life in a ‘poor-me’ kind of way. She was killing it financially, she had been able to retire her husband, and had moved abroad but she was in a constant cycle of drama and blame.

The problem is not having a problem, we all have problems, we all have struggles and we all face challenges at some point or another. It’s how someone deals with these moments that tell us if they are the right match for us. Drama and struggle come at a price, they not only deplete you energetically they tend to be the focus of your attention which makes people stuck in them not the most ideal people to work with as healers or therapists. The fact that someone is posting about their issues in a non-constructive way already shows you what their attention is focused on.

This doesn’t eliminate the chance that those you want to work with aren’t going through their own issues and struggles, because everyone has their own issues but it does show you how well they are handling them. If they are handling them poorly, it gives you an indication of what to expect of them behaviorally as well as their level of understanding. In reality, even someone that is sharing openly about their struggles in a constructive way can also still not have healed them, the healer that unfriended me mid-package seemed very balanced and healed because she positioned herself that way when in reality she was getting triggered left and right by the women she worked with because of her unresolved pain in her relationship with her mother. Her mother had deeply betrayed her and she kept bringing that pain and fear of betrayal into her relationship with female clients and even mentors that were older than her.

There are of course people that will never be vulnerable on social media one way or the other, so you’re never 100% sure that the person you chose to work with is in a more wounded state. You can’t completely eliminate risks, but you can minimize them with this simple check.

What are other clients saying about them?

This is again not conclusive because the testimonials can be fake, or not accurate even if not deliberately done so. Many people also don’t know how to write testimonials which makes it difficult to really know what they got out of a session. Sometimes also the healer can try to influence what’s in a testimonial by pre-writing it. I had this once, where I worked with a healer and I was sent a pre-written testimonial that I was asked to sign. It contained things that she ascribed to our working together but that would have happened anyway as they were already planned prior to us starting to work together. It was a list of things I had done while we were working together, but that weren’t necessarily a product of the work we had done, but because the timeframes overlapped they were claimed as results attained with the healer and their method. Even though they weren’t a result of the work we did together.

The fact is testimonials don’t always reflect the truth.

There are two things that can help, screenshots of the testimonial, shoutout, or review (although yes even those can be faked) are more convincing and looking for the common thread in the reviews. For example, the common thread in what my clients say about my work is that I took them deeper than they had ever gone before or that I take them deeper in one session than other healers and healing modalities do. The common thread in someone’s testimonials and reviews tells you what you can expect from working with them. Rather than focusing on the individual stories of the testimonials, looking deeper at what they have in common gives you the opportunity to read between the lines.

Is it true healing or wishful thinking?

Intuition can play a big role in choosing the right kind of person to work with, but do not underestimate the power of common sense. There are so many healing modalities out there and other modalities posing as healing that are based on wishful thinking. The deeper I have gone in my own healing journey the more conservative and ‘science-based’ I have become. This doesn’t mean I am not open to alternative therapies, I very much am but they have to have a realistic basis.

I don’t believe anyone can magic away our pain, our wounds, our trauma, or our karma because understanding how this pain, wounds, trauma, or karma was created is an important part of the healing as well as our own evolution. Say you make a mistake, but you don’t know you’re making that mistake, someone fixes that mistake for you and either don’t explain or try to explain the mistake you made in their own words but you don’t get what they are saying – what are the chances that you will continue to make that mistake? The chances are extremely high because you don’t understand the mistake and their fixing the mistake for you has not helped you in learning from that mistake.

All our pain, wounds, trauma, and karma aren’t mistakes but they are misinterpretations of the ego which make them mistakes in understanding. The ego interprets them differently than our soul truth and that is the mistake. In order to fix these ‘mistakes’ (misinterpretations) we need to see the soul truth, which no one can see for us, explain to us or magically restore for us. The most powerful understanding comes from being able to see it for ourselves. It’s like math, we can’t effectively use math until we understand how the equation we are working with works. We can guess the answer, and someone can give us the answer, but until we understand the equation we can’t reproduce the answer ourselves or solve other similar equations in the future.

Keep this analogy in mind when researching healing modalities. In general, all-done-for-you healing is a waste of money because healing cannot be done for you. A psychic seeing your past life for you doesn’t heal that previous lifetime, you seeing your previous lifetime doesn’t even necessarily heal it. I can’t tell you how many times I have worked with people who have done past life work with facilitators who had limited knowledge of past lives and it actually made things worse because they weren’t guided to see the truth, they were just shown a random past life taken out of the context it belonged in.

If a healing modality challenges common sense, they are probably not a thing. I by no means want to be a party pooper, but some things are just not real no matter how much we would like them to be. As a whole within the spiritual community, there tends to be a desire to go to the light and move away from the darkness. But it’s actually what’s in the shadows and the darkness (the subconscious and the unconscious) that propels us toward the biggest light. It’s by bringing our light to our darkness that we become enlightened and whole, not by running away from it. As Swiss psychiatrist and founder of psychoanalysis, Carl Jung said “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.“

Guided meditation and astral travel can seem exquisitely spiritual and beautiful, but they do little for our actual healing. Reclaiming all (lost or disowned) parts of ourselves on both an incarnation as well as a soul path level is what actually heals and allows us to truly become whole again. It isn’t about just not feeling the pain anymore, it’s about uncovering and understanding what was causing the pain in the first place which isn’t as evident as it often appears to be.

What doesn’t matter

The following criteria may seem to matter but actually doesn’t. For people highly trained or well-versed in intellectual thinking these are often things they take into consideration but that don’t actually guarantee quality or results.

Allopathic vs. Alternative

Because healing or therapy depends on the person facilitating it, there’s no greater risk to go allopathically or choose a more alternative modality. They are equally risky because the efficacy of the treatment in conventional therapy depends largely on the rapport with the therapist. “The success rate across the board of psychotherapies is embarrassingly low (10%–30%).” according to various research. Source: psychreg.org The success rate of conventional therapy only exceeds this lower percentile when the client has a good rapport with the therapist. This means that the success rate of conventional therapy depends on how good your relationship is with your therapist.

Working in the alternative field I can tell you that many allopathically schooled professionals including psychiatrists, psychologists, and various differently qualified therapists work with alternative healers and often add more alternative healing modalities to their existing skill set.

Where it can go wrong in more alternative healing modalities is that the modality is based on wishful thinking or that the healer or therapist is unprofessional (not or not well trained). The biggest risk is that the modality is not a thing (based on wishful thinking) and that it won’t work any better than a placebo. It’s interesting to know that the placebo effect success rate within traditional talk therapies ranges from being around 15% to up to 72% effective. Source: Frontiers

Alternative healing or therapy modalities tend to not be as extensively studied, but if the placebo effect is present in conventional psychotherapy we can assume that there’s also a placebo effect in alternative healing and therapy methods. This would mean that even if a certain healing or therapy modality would ‘not work’ it would have a positive effect to a certain degree anyway.

But remember that the ability to feel better doesn’t mean healing took place. “Placebos may make you feel better, but they will not cure you,” Source: Harvard Health Publishing The placebo effect refers to the mind’s ability to alter physical symptoms, such as pain, anxiety, and fatigue. This grabs back to what we were discussing before about feel-good healing, that the fact that you feel better doesn’t actually mean that healing took place. Feeling better is of course always a win, but we can actually feel better with our wounding intact.

Although I would say that there are slightly more alternative healing modalities that are based on fantasy and wishful thinking, going the conventional route doesn’t necessarily increase treatment efficacy. Both routes have their downsides and in both cases, the person you work with is more important than the actual modality especially when you believed allopathic approaches to be superior.

Certifications and degrees

Another thing people often have high on their list is degrees and certifications and to an extent, professionalism can improve through having to do the schooling to get the certifications and degrees but schooling in and of itself doesn’t make good healers or therapists. That comes down to the individual again, especially when it comes to healing gifts and abilities that are always innate.

Wounding is a much bigger concern, both the male therapist as well as the female healer I talked about before had degrees in psychology and various other certifications. Our degrees and certifications do not ensure healing, they ensure schooling and training. The biggest message of this Soul teaching (the red thread) is that it’s not the modality but the person facilitating it that matters most, the level to which the healer or therapist has been able to come within their own healing journey is the most important factor. Because this is the level to where they can bring you.

This is easily explained by the difference between knowledge and embodiment. Certifications and degrees are about acquiring practical knowledge. Healing oneself and fixing one’s own leaky pipes and plumbing is about embodying that knowledge. When looking for the right healer or therapist, working with someone that has this embodiment of healing is not only more pleasurable to work with, but will also get you better results in your own healing process.

This is not to say that the chosen modality doesn’t matter at all or that there’s no difference between one modality and the next, it just means that the modality is secondary to the facilitator’s own level of embodied healing.


In general, pricing will give us a good idea of what to expect from a session, although this isn’t always true. Especially within the online space, the pricing tends to be much higher than for offline services and these higher prices are not always warranted. I have definitely done sessions with other healers that were overpriced and not worth it, but you know that image artists often share of a half horse being drawn professionally and then the other half being finished amateurishly with the text can you do it any cheaper?

This is true across all industries, you get what you pay for.

Often times people who feel they can’t afford to work with me or don’t want to spend so much money, think they are saving money by working with someone else who either reads their Akashic Records for them or regresses them to their past lives through other modalities, and guess what? They don’t get the results that they would get with me, because they mistake the modality to be the decisive factor instead of the person facilitating the healing or therapy.

I am known amongst my clients to get the same results in one session, that they would get doing multiple sessions with other healers. This has also been true on my own healing journey, I have had to do multiple sessions with multiple healers to get to the same level of healing I bring my clients to in one single session and so naturally my session price reflects this. I have invested a small fortune in my own healing journey and everyone that works with me benefits from that embodied healing and my deep understanding of the psychological working of the subconscious mind and the healing/Ascension process. I am able to take my clients deeper than they have ever gone before because I have gone deeper in my own healing process than most other healers and therapists.

When it comes to pricing there are those that are bluffing and there are those that are the real deal, when looking at pricing look for clues that help you discern the difference between the two. Because the success of the healing or therapy depends much more on the facilitator than on the modality, don’t go for knock-offs or what you hope to be copy services because there is a big difference. You’re not paying for the service, you’re paying for the results.

For example, one client I worked with healed her second-guessing herself in one single session with me. She not only saved herself months if not years of trying to heal this through other ways, but she also saved herself from having to continue living with this crippling self-doubt and then in the long run saved a lot of money that she didn’t have to pay for more lengthy forms of healing or therapy and money potentially lost by her lifelong habit of second-guessing herself. It was a bigger investment upfront but in the end, she got the results she needed at a fraction of what it would have cost elsewhere using other methods.

Online or offline

2020 and the years that followed really showed us that online or offline really doesn’t matter so much unless the modality involves physical touch. Energy doesn’t need to be in the same room to work in the way touch does and quantum physics supports the scientific explanation for this. Wanting to be in the same room as the healer or therapist is often fueled by a sense of safety as well as a need for control.

There are people even afraid to do guided meditations without somebody to watch over them to secure their safety because they fear the loss of control. When this is the case, in-person healing and therapy is probably necessary to establish a sense of safety but when it comes to mental, emotional, or vibrational healing there is often no difference in the effectiveness of the modality whether it’s done online or offline.

In fact, I teach my students in the Soul Embodiment® Therapy Certification program to work with the cameras off instead of on. The reason I work with the cameras off and teach my students to do so as well is to give my clients the privacy and a safe space to explore their deepest and darkest emotions with me. First of all, having the camera on distracts them but it can also cause people to feel uncomfortable or worry about what they look like going through the depths of their emotions. It can also bring in a factor of shame which isn’t conducive to the healing process.

The same is true in person, allowing people to work from the comforts of their own homes and without being watched or looked at during the session allows them to face the things they even find difficult to admit to themselves. As Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung states ‘I’d rather be whole than good.’ One has to face the parts of oneself that one hides, is ashamed of, suppresses, or disowns in order to reclaim one’s wholeness and I have found that working online has great advantages over working in person in many cases, but especially when working towards reclaiming our wholeness which is what healing is all about. The goal of healing is to become whole again.

Ease in slow if you’re not sure…

Throughout this Soul teaching, we have looked at various aspects of what it takes to pick the right healer or therapist. When in doubt, however, just ease in slowly and start with the freebies and the low-end products. Here’s why; the way you do anything is the way you do everything. In other words, a healer or therapist’s free stuff and cheap offers already show you the level of consciousness and depth of understanding as well as to a degree the level of healing they have mastered.

For example, the Ultimate Guide to Inner Union which you can download for free has the depth that is a hallmark of my work. This is for many people their first encounter with my work which already gives them a taste of the depth they can expect from me. Then we have the Soul teachings which go way deeper than what people usually blog about. It takes me multiple full days to write them and rather than them just being a sales pitch which many blogs are, they dive deep into the topics we are exploring excavating the soul truth rather than the 3D or ego interpretation of things.

This level of depth continues in my one-to-one private sessions as well as in my certification and other programs. If truth be told, I am incapable of doing superficial because it’s not who I am. Every healer or therapist has their deeper essence or unique gift (expertise) that they can support you in and everything they create (provided they created it themselves) is infused with their essence. Sampling their free and low-end products will give you an idea of what they have to offer.

That being said it is difficult to capture for example the life-changing transformation that is attainable when diving in deep. The results one gets from working with freebies or low-end products are of course only a fraction of what truly working with that person can get you. For example, my clients often consider the Soul teachings little mini-healing sessions but they are not the same as actually doing a private one-to-one session with me.

They aren’t a yardstick for the level of transformation you can expect from doing the actual work with someone, they are just taster samples of what that person has to offer. But, in general, they do help to weed out the people who are just selling hot air from those that truly have something to offer.

I pray that this Soul teaching has helped you understand what is important and what isn’t as important as you might have thought when looking to pick the right healer or therapist for yourself. I didn’t know what to expect writing this piece and I even doubted while writing it, if this was what I wanted to write about but when it was finally written out completely I understood why it was so important to write. There were some very important messages conveyed, but I feel that the most important message and one that I will certainly heed moving forward is to look at the level of healing that a healer or therapist is at themselves to pick the right healer (or therapist) to move forward with.

I have stopped working with almost all the healers I have previously worked with except for one or two and have also stopped doing sessions at the rate that I have in the past, now that my healing (and wholeness) journey has come full circle both on a soul path as well as a current incarnation level. I want to re-emphasize how important working with different healers and therapists has been on this journey and that I a. wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own without the expertise of others and b. wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have come without approaching it from many different angles.

We are multidimensional beings, with multiple subtle and gross bodies that carry different layers and aspects of our wounding on both a soul path as well as a current incarnation level. There is not ONE healing modality that can address all of these layers, all of these aspects, or all of these different bodies within our multidimensionality equally. In every field we need both generalists and specialists, the healing arena is no different. The idea that one healer/therapist and one healing modality can be THE ultimate solution is an illusion, but they can be part of the equation. As a healer, I am always deeply honored to be part of my client’s healing process and help them get the results they need with my work, but I am by no means the end station of their journey but rather their gateway into intensifying their healing efforts and expanding their healing team on their path to reclaim their wholeness not only in their current life but across their complete soul journey.

The essence of my work is understanding the deep interconnectedness of healing the wounded parts of ourselves on both a current incarnation as well as a soul path (past life) level with the embodiment of our soul essence. Healing is the path to enlightenment and Ascension and it cannot be bypassed if we truly want to reconnect to the spiritual beings that we are in our deepest essence.

Ready To Take Your Manifesting To The Soul Level?

The key to unlocking your Heaven on Earth is healing on a Soul path level.

Everything you want is only being blocked by your subconscious Soul path wounding. The reason why so many people fail to create the life and the reality that they dream of is because their subconscious false beliefs and Soul path wounds are holding them back.

I am here to help you unlock your Next Uplevel in Wholeness, Love, Money & Business and unapologetically embody the truth of who you are while you’re at it!

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With my deepest love,

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