I have been making money online since 2010, I have been living off the money I make online since December 2011 when I got myself and my kids off of welfare through a web design company I created. Through working hard on my money blocks I made my first 5K month, thirteen months later. I started a new business in 2016 in a completely different industry and by August 2017 that business was making 5K months too. It didn’t take long to grow to six-figure years and stay there.
Did I never have money issues ever again? The truth is, I did. I almost thought I had run out of luck when in 2012 new clients stopped coming in, people on payment plans couldn’t pay and the people that did want to work with me couldn’t afford me. It wasn’t until I healed a past life fear around being ‘rich’ that the money started flowing again and that I hit the 5K a month soon after. In 2016 when I initially switched industries, I had to fire five people from our 6 person team – I only kept my developer. I also had to borrow money to be able to pay them.
In 2018 we started traveling the world, me, my teenage son, and my mom. You cannot travel to other countries, other cultures, living out of your suitcase for multiple months to years in hotels and Airbnbs across the globe without it changing you. By 2019 after coming back from Dubai, there was again this moment that I felt I needed to change the messaging in my then business and we completely rebranded it to match who I had become and to reflect the inner growth I had experienced.
Because my teenage son was not cut out for life as a digital nomad at that time, I started to look for a place to settle down by the end of 2019. In early 2020 I found the perfect place in Ibiza, but then the world went in lockdown so we weren’t able to move into our new home till the summer. Everything lined up perfectly and money showed up effortlessly, despite our rent being 4x what it used to be.
By December 2020 things started rumbling and by the summer of 2021 I had completely revamped my business in a similar industry, but in a way that allowed me to be who I truly am instead of having to cater to the voracious desires of my previous audience that in many cases only wanted to hear what they wanted to hear and felt entitled to become hostile and aggressive towards me if they didn’t agree with me.
Don’t get me wrong I have worked with amazing people that I love and that stayed with me, but as a collective, this was an incredibly tough crowd to deal with.
By the end of 2021, the sh*t hit the fan and despite having made over nearly 1 million dollars in lifetime revenue by then, suddenly making money became really difficult. Well, actually I made money and relatively more money than many people have on a monthly basis but it was insufficient to pay the rent. I could pay everything else but the rent, which first came out of savings, and then when the savings were gone I had to borrow money from a friend.
I am a strong believer that our current reality is happening for our highest good and that if we have challenges or struggles in our lives, they are here to help us heal deeper wounds from the past. I wrote an extensive teaching on this that you can access here.
While going through this process which has now been solved, there were many people telling me that this was happening everywhere. I live in Ibiza where all the people on the island depending on tourists struggle financially in the winter months, but my clients aren’t from this island. I was told many healers faced this problem, that it was the pandemic, the war, and so on. But I knew that there were other healers I personally knew who were bringing in, complete year revenues in one month, under the exact same external circumstances. That wasn’t it, it also wasn’t a question of marketing more because all the marketing I did seemed to fall flat on its face at that time.
I kept praying on it and then the signs and the people with the right messages started showing up, one being one of my business mentors sharing her own story of up-leveling from six- to seven-figure years. She said that if the money had not fallen away, she would have never made the changes she needed to make and after that her business took off and she now has a multi-million dollar business. The message she had for me was to surrender and this message kept getting confirmed by other people, books, and random things that caught my eye.
What this experience has taught me is that there are always people who will blame external circumstances or people who tell you to just try harder. But when we become quiet and ask for the right answer to come through, the Universe or God – whomever you feel more comfortable with. always points us in the right direction.
This morning I saw another business owner I know share this image of the squished fish in the fishbowl he has outgrown and that sums up this complete experience, When God (your soul) wants you to grow he/she makes you uncomfortable. In the fake world of Social Media, it can sometimes feel as if you’re the only one who’s not ‘killing it’ in life or in your business, but the truth is that these moments of things not working are often precious opportunities to do things differently because you’re ready for your next big uplevel.
With my deepest love,
